The Big Gay Chip on My Shoulder

I am a straight man, with a big gay chip on my shoulder.

A while back on my Twitter page (yes, I know how ridiculous it sounds), I mentioned that, if I believed in the devil, Pat Robertson might be him.

Being a fairly liberal-leaning guy with either liberal friends or Republican and Christian friends who don't believe that being one has anything to do with the other, I was surprised at how many people took offense to what I had to say.

These people weren't friends of Mr. Robertson but friends, apparently, of God. They had "spoken" with him and he had assured them that he was no friend of the gays. He also told them that he loved America more than any other country and was a huge fan of Dancing With the Stars.

The small controversy or "Twitter-versy" (patent on phrase pending) all started when I had made the mistake of asking why two people of the same sex shouldn't be able to make the same life-long commitment and (more importantly) under the same god, as straight people. Why can't my gay friends be as happily married as my wife and I? It seemed simple to me, but let me start off by telling you a series of things that I believe to be true:

I am a person who believes that people are born gay. I don't think you have any control over what moves you or to whom you're attracted. That's why it's called an attraction and not a choice.

I believe that America is a great nation of even greater people. I also believe that anyone who says that this is a "Christian nation" has RHS, or revisionist history syndrome, and doesn't realize that most of our founding fathers were either atheist or at least could see, even in the 1700s, that all through Europe at the time, religion was the cause of so much persecution that they needed to put into their brand new constitution a SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE so that the ideals of a group of people could never be forced onto the whole. (I also find it funny when people point out to me that it says "one nation under god" in our pledge of allegiance, not realizing that this was an addition made in 1954 during the communism scare of the McCarthy era. It's not surprising, however, knowing that these same people would punch me in the mouth if I called Jesus a Jew.

I believe the fact that an atheist, who doesn't believe in God at all, is allowed to enter into the holy land of marriage while a gay Christian is not, shows that this law is arbitrary. Are we to believe that anyone who doesn't live their life according to the King James Bible isn't protected by the same laws that protect those who do? Using the same argument that I've seen on the 700 Club, that would mean that Jewish, Hindu, or Muslim weddings are also null and void.

I believe that to deny this right to the gay population is to say to them, "this god is not your god and he doesn't love you." There isn't one person who is against gay marriage that can give me a reason why it shouldn't be legal without bringing God or their religion into it. Still, I'm amazed at the audacity of a small, misdirected group of the ultra-conservative Christian right wing, to spend millions of dollars, in a recession, on advertisements to stop two men or women who love each other from being able to be married, but when you present any opposition to them, they accuse you of attacking their religion. Isn't it funny that the people who are the quickest to take someone's basic rights to happiness are always the loudest to scream when someone attacks their right to do so?

But this isn't a paper about religion. How could it be? Since we clearly have a separation of church and state, how could a conversation about laws have anything to do with religion at all? I'm writing about basic civil rights. We've been here before, fighting for the rights of African Americans or women to vote, or the rights of Jewish Americans to worship as they see fit. And, just as whites fought for African Americans or Christians for Jewish Americans, straight people must stand up and be a voice for gay people.

I've heard it said before, many times, that if two men or two women are allowed to join into a civil union together, why can't they be happy with that and why is it so important that they call it marriage? In essence, what's in a name?

A civil union has to do with death. It's essentially a document that gives you lower taxes and the right to let your faux spouse collect your insurance when you pass away. A marriage is about life. It's about a commitment. And this argument is about allowing people to have the right to make that commitment, even if it doesn't make sense to you. Anything else falls under the category of "separate but equal" and we know how that works out.

The support of legalizing gay marriage is in no way meant to change the ideals of the section of Christians who believe that homosexuality is a sin. But we should refuse to let other people's ideals shape the way we live our lives. Each of us has a short ride on this earth and as long as we stay in our lane, and don't affect someone else's ride, we should be allowed to drive as we see fit.

-- Rob Thomas 27 May 2009

Views: 87

Comment by Dave G on May 27, 2009 at 4:25pm
A couple minor quibbles. For one, most of the founding fathers were not atheists. Some were staunch Christians, such as Patrick Henry, and a great many were deists, such as Thomas Jefferson. Now, I believe that a number of them would have been atheists, had they had access to the information and knowledge that is available today. With several of them, the sticking point between deism and atheism seemed to be the existence of humans, that some entity had to be responsible for the diversity and appearance of life. Had Darwin and Wallace lived a century earlier, and developed the theory of evolution in the 1750s rather than the 1850s, things might have been different.
Comment by Frank on May 27, 2009 at 4:34pm
I agree Rob Thomas doesn't have all his facts, but the truth is for a pop singer he does have his shit together and understand the world. He has a far greater understanding our history than most people that seem to cling to this was founded as a christian nation.
Comment by Doug Reardon on May 27, 2009 at 5:26pm
Usury is also a big sin in the bible, why aren't Christians upset about it?
Comment by Chelsea on May 27, 2009 at 10:24pm
Oooooohhhh, I KNEW I was in love with Rob Thomas for more than just his beautiful music and pretty face! *wipes away a tiny love-tear*
Comment by Misty: Baytheist Living! on May 28, 2009 at 7:04am
Comment by Laura on May 28, 2009 at 12:30pm
I have to admit I don't know who Rob Thomas is. But whoever he is, he's awesome.
Comment by Johnny on May 28, 2009 at 12:42pm
Laura, he's probably best known as the lead singer of Matchbox Twenty (rock/alternative style music, most known from hits in the lat 90s and early 2000s).
Comment by Frank on May 28, 2009 at 2:02pm
I got to see Matchbox 20 live many years ago, and I will say in his stage presence he came off as quite a genuine guy. Someone not consumed by fame, I've read other writing by him where he is very honest about who he is.


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