WE WIN! I have proof that there is no god! Go ahead and celebrate because it's official. There's no way that the theists can argue that there is a god after the proof I am about to show you.

Recently, the makers of whatever this disgusting thing pictured below is (BTW, it's a KFC Famous Bowl for anyone out there who doesn't know what it is. Also, lucky you for not knowing about that heart-stopping monstrosity.) announced the release of a new sandwich. A sandwich that proves once and for all that there is no god.

When I say they announced the release of a new sandwich, I use the term sandwich very liberally. In fact, KFC's new creation shouldn't even be called a sandwich because a sandwich is exactly what it is not. A sandwich is defined as two or more slices of bread with a filling such as meat or cheese placed between them. Now, find the bread in this new "sandwich".

You can go ahead and stop looking because there is no bread to be found on this "sandwich". It's got two pieces of chicken instead of bread! I would even wager that it isn't even real chicken because you can't get a piece of meat shaped like that from a chicken. You just can't do it. It's impossible. However, the fact that the Double Down isn't made from real chicken isn't even my biggest problem with this "sandwich". My biggest problem with the Double Down is that it exists. There is absolutely no reason for it.

The Double Down is just so American. It's got everything we Americans want: it's fried, it's got bacon, it's got cheese, it's got some sort of sauce we don't even know the ingredients for, and it's basically all the same color. Hell, if Obama had deep-fried the health care reform bill and put it in between two pieces of chicken it would have passed without a single no vote!

I can just imagine some 300 pound twelve year old sitting in a KFC saying,"Man, I sure do like the chicken in this sandwich, but I just can't stand the two pieces of bread that are surrounding it. If only there were some way to make a sandwich with two pieces of chicken instead of bread. Of course, that raises the question of what to put in between the two pieces of chicken because you can't just put another piece of chicken there. Oh, I know! Bacon!" Unfortunately for everyone but him, some KFC executive overheard him.

Now, it's only a matter of time before they come up with a line of Double Down "sandwiches" with three, four, or more pieces of "chicken" just like Burger King did with BK Stackers. I can already imagine the Quad Double Down: four pieces of chicken, 8 slices of cheese, a whole pig worth of bacon, and a bucket full of Colonel's sauce. I'm pretty sure anyone who tried to eat that would die before they finished, but that would just be natural selection picking off the ones who are too stupid for their own good.

Now, back to my original point. The mere existence of something as revolting as the Double Down proves that there can be no god or at least not one who is kind.

Views: 724

Comment by Matt on April 12, 2010 at 12:22am
I'm actually feeling nauseous looking at that kfc shit.
Comment by Apple on April 12, 2010 at 12:27am
BK Quad Stacker is "Ballsy!" I guess it wouldn't be as effective to write "Lardy."
Comment by Matt on April 12, 2010 at 12:39am
Psh the BK stacker isn't lardy, twinkie stonehenge is lardy.

Comment by Wesley on April 12, 2010 at 12:54am
Now if you just batter dipped those twinkies and bacon and deep fried them..... they'd almost be as bad as this... http://www.eatmedaily.com/2009/09/deep-fried-butter-balls-at-the-te...
Comment by Skycomet the Fallen Angel on April 12, 2010 at 10:28am
God! KFC! I worked there! I was treated like a slave! GAH! Bad memories! Bad memories! Bad memories!
Comment by Skycomet the Fallen Angel on April 12, 2010 at 10:38am
BTW... I know what the KFC famous bowl is. I've basically memorized the recipe. You don't want to know how it is made, but to keep you guys from eating it, I will tell you. (Afterall, I'm not employed there anymore, so they can't fire me for exposing secrets.) The bowl is made first by using "mashed potatoes" - if you want to call them that [they are made with instant mix and hot water] - that have usually been left in a heating unit for a couple hours and are stirred up to conceal the fact that they are all dried out. Two ice-cream sized scoops are put in the bottom of the plastic bowl. Then, a scoop of "gravy" [also stagnating in the warmer for a couple hours and also made from instant mix] is added. Then a scoop of corn [ditto above] is added. Then you get basically 5 or so, pre-cooked, frozen, and refried "popcorn chicken," and then another scoop of "gravy" is added, and a sprinkle of cheese.
Comment by Skycomet the Fallen Angel on April 12, 2010 at 10:56am
I've never made the "double down sandwich" [I quit long before I was forced to learn how to kill people with this, thank "god"] but from what I gather by looking at the ingriedients, it's basically, Saturated fat, trans fat, LDL cholesterol, sugar, Artificial flavoring of unknown health risks - possibly cancer agents, simple carbohydrates, high fructose corn syrup [in the soda - the worst sugar known to man], and a TINY bit of benefit from the dairy [cheese]. Basically, it's a meal that will kill you.
Comment by Skycomet the Fallen Angel on April 12, 2010 at 11:00am
Comment by Skycomet the Fallen Angel on April 12, 2010 at 11:29am
Comment by Toni Le Busque on April 12, 2010 at 11:30am
KFC= Kids Fat Club


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