"I will wipe from the face of the earth every living creature I have made." -Yahweh(?)/Moses(?)

I don't know about you, but that sure sounds like a guy I'd want to worship!

No. My thoughts are more similar to this point of view:
Really, it's more like a dad who drowned all of his children except for one kid and was like, "Don't worry. I won't murder you or any of the kids I have from here on out! Well, at least not by drowning all of them in a massive flood... You know I mean it too because I made you a pretty painting."

The truly disturbing part of the Noah's Ark story is the fact that it has become a children's story. You can't go shopping for baby merchandise without finding bedding, decor, clothing, picture frames, and other products plastered with happy animal couples riding out the storm in a cute little boat.


Isn't that nice? Some cute animals and an old dude hanging out together. Everyone is getting along, all happy and fed. No one is even choking on the smell of urine! Just don't look under those waves, okay?

Isn't this nice? Arts and crafts time for the kiddos. Let's have fun remembering that time God wiped out everyone except for those eight people! After all, everyone else was evil and he thought, "Hey, let's give the whole incest thing another shot." Poor God. All he wants is righteous followers and everyone keeps messing up:

Now the earth was corrupt in God’s sight and was full of violence. God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways. So God said to Noah, “I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth. -Genesis 6:11-13

That's a reasonable reaction, right? World full of violence? MURDER ALL THE PEOPLE!

I didn't grow up with just the cheery images of happy animals and shiny rainbows. Oh no. I was a Jehovah's Witness so I grew up with this book:
Looks nice enough, right? I didn't realize how disturbing the images were until much later in life. I remember most of the pictures even though I can't remember the last time I saw the actual book. I knew exactly what I was looking for when I went to JW.org:

I have had nightmares about that mother and child. Their image was seared into my brain more than anything else in that book. It's a baby. If we're to believe what God told Noah, the baby was corrupt and didn't deserve to live. Think about that for a minute, I'll wait.


Properly horrified? Let's move on.

As an adult, I try to imagine what exactly was going through the artist's head. Sure, we can pretend that all the others in the picture are assholes. But the mother and the naked child? Mommy is clinging to her baby for dear life, trying to offer comfort and love in their final moments. It's heart-wrenching and her actions are decidedly not evil.

noah 3As marvelous as a rainbow is, I don't think it comes close to dismissing the insane overreaction of a vengeful deity. Isn't the fact that God felt the need to offer up a kind of apology and promise never to repeat his actions proof that the supposedly inerrant God realized that he made a huge mistake? Abusive father indeed. He doesn't seem to have learned from his failure though:

"Whoever sheds human blood, by humans shall their blood be shed; for in the image of God has God made mankind." -Genesis 9:6


From what I can tell, most Christians accept the Noah's Ark tale as literal truth. JW.org also has the accompanying stories I read when my mind was much more pliant. A few gems from The Great Flood:

"The giants were gone now. No more would they be around to hurt people. All of them had died, along with their mothers and the rest of the bad people."
I don't know about you, but I wouldn't mind more Andres in the world.

"God now spoke to Noah. He said: ‘Go out of the ark. Take your whole family and the animals with you.’ They had been inside the ark for more than a whole year. So we can just imagine how happy they all were to be outside again and to be alive!"
I think I would have had survivor's guilt personally.

Someone please explain to me how the inclusion of lots of animals makes this a children's story. This is a story about ecocide and near complete omnicide, including infanticide. Wrapping the mass destruction of life in rainbows and primary colors does not diminish the staggering horror of a global flood directed by a supposedly loving God.

You can't even get 10 chapters into the first book of the Bible before it is stunningly obvious that God is the villain.

Originally Posted on Wary Wonderlust

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