Fundie Times: Grandma's Joke Email FWD About Atheist Being Mauled To Death By Christian Bear

An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees!'
'What powerful rivers!'
'What beautiful animals!'
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard

a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear

charge toward him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked

over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing
in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was

even closer.

He tripped & fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the

bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with
his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out:

'Oh my God!'

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came

out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach

others I don't exist and even credit creation to
cosmic accident.'
'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?'
'Am I to count you as a believer?'

The atheist looked directly into the light, and said:

'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you
to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could
make the BEAR a Christian?'

'Very well', said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed.

The bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws
together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from

Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

Views: 143

Comment by Byrnes Steel on January 28, 2013 at 10:23pm


Comment by SteveInCO on January 28, 2013 at 10:29pm

Does a bear pray in the woods?

I guess that's equivalent to the usual question about bears and woods.

Comment by Kairan Nierde on January 29, 2013 at 2:10pm

I thought this was cute. Gave me a laugh.

Comment by Sarah Jane Hall on January 29, 2013 at 2:54pm

ha ha I posted that to Facebook it was to funny not to


You need to be a member of Think Atheist to add comments!

Join Think Atheist

© 2021   Created by Rebel.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service