The Brave New World.....of online dating.

I figured, what the hell. I'll do anything once. So I went to this "free" online dating site last night, created a profile...

First I guess I should say I'm starting to feel old! Lol...what happened to the days when you just meet someone and exchange phone numbers and go out?

In no less than 10 minutes of starting this thing I had 5 guys ask me for "more pics"...I only posted one. Ok guys is that normal?? It doesn't feel right.

And then another 2 or 3 guys say, "let's text, it's easier" and they text me their cell number. The last thing I need is another psycho with any of my personal contact information....

More and more people are dating online now because I suppose it does help with getting a "wide selection." It's pretty scary for me. I honestly don't even know if I'm ready. I might just delete my account because so far it's nothing but stressful.

I haven't been on the dating scene...in over a decade....I never went out with a "lot of people" I never dating in the sense of getting to know a bunch of different guys over coffee or dinner....I was always with guys before who I either knew through school, or in my ex-husband's case met at a bar, or through friends. So this whole concept of online dating is so foreign to me.

So....for anyone who has or does do dating online, can you give me some pointers? how do I know a guys is "safe" to go out with? Is it a red flag when I'm being asked to send pictures or text so quickly? Or is that just how it's done?

What is the best way to approach this whole online dating adventure? I'm interested to hear real stories from any of you who HAVE online dated and tell us your humorous (or not so humorous) experiences.....something to make us laugh, lol....

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Permalink Reply by Cesar Deicide on December 5, 2014 at 10:23pm

Well, i do Customer Support for a dating site for a living. The first recommendation is not to contact people outside of the site as soon as you meet them, the ones that do are more likely than not to be scammers/people you don't want to relate to; these people usually have their profiles removed/banned in two days tops. If their profile is still up after the week, it's safer.

Always do a reverse image search on either google or tineye on matches that too good to be true or names on scam sites like romancescam. Also on profiles that use many adjectives to describe themselves or what they are looking for, keywords are: honest, god fearing, kind, loving; usually in succession.

Do not follow links hidden on html, or sites that require your log in information, especially if sent on the first email with the excuse of seeing their photos or that there is something wrong or shocking in your profiles; some even say that they found naked photos of you. Highly scam. I use WOT to inform me of potentially dangerous site, it's member managed so not all sites are curated.

Avoid multi background engineers that became widows due to untimely death of their wives and whose child is abroad with either families or studying (yes, all that together). For example: my father is american, my mother australian but i was raised in europe, [wife was a great women][tragic sudden death story][hope spot][looking for love again].

And finally, if you ever get in contact with one scammer, when you cut them off some will curse, others will threaten you, very few will go as far as harass you but keep in mind that they cannot harm you, they are only bluffing so you give them money or send them expensive cellphones or laptops or cash the last fish's money, they are away on another country unable to do anything to you. Ignoring them will make them go away because they will not loose time on a lost cause when there are more fishes in the sea.

As alarmist as I sound, it's because I only see the dark side of this. You are safe because you are way below the 50+ year old people they target.

Finally, have fun and good luck finding someone special :)

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Permalink Reply by Belle Rose on December 5, 2014 at 10:40pm

Wow. Maybe I am too old for this! LOL!!!!!

Thanks for the advice Cesar....I'm sure you see a lot of interesting stuff! I wonder what percentage of people actually find someone legit online. I don't even know if I want a relationship! Lol....it will be fun to just "test my boundaries" and see if I can even go on a "real" date again. I am just open to new experiences and to see if I really can "spot" the abusive men and avoid them. The online dating sites seems like a good way to ease into it. We'll see!!!

thanks for the advice Cesar!