Why not commemorate something more meaningful than how someone tragically died? I think they should put a memorial where the deceased loved someone, or something. Or maybe a tribute bench. Those are awesome. I always read the plaque about another gentleman or lady who sat by the sea, or loved to sail, or maybe was generous or a loving brother. Being reminded of some horrific accidental death daily is disconcerting.


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I think they're mainly meant as a deterrent. "This person died here. If you aren't careful, YOU MAY BE NEXT!!!"

Whatever. Enough with the crosses. If Jebus really loved you he wouldn't have made you die in a horrible car accident.

I pass by this roadside memorial everyday for a guy that I went to high school with. He died in a horrendous car wreck at 16. And I hate seeing it because I'm always reminded of his parents that are complete mental wrecks now. Even after 6 years, they're still hurting like it just happened. For me, the marker of where he died just brings back bad memories.

They also retired his football jersey and made a special memorial type thing at the football field. When I see that I get reminded of him playing out on the field and him at his best.

So yeah, I really don't like roadside memorials. I actually stay away from cemeteries too. My mind tends to run away and think of them decomposing in the ground and that's never good.

Having a memento or a memorial where or of something they love is a better way of grieving for me. I have my cousin's leather jacket that he always wore hanging in my room. Makes it easy to replay old memories of him wearing it.

I think it has to do with a younger generation.I never saw them years ago.Also it is one thing when they are erected on public property but I find it is completely disrespectfull to property owners, which may be attributed to the younger generation as well. If someone is killed as a result of crashing into your property, it seems you are now expected to endure tributes and memorials on your private property for as long as the friends wish to maintain them. I think memorials should be confined to the actual grave site, although with cremation now a days there may not be a grave site.


It is clearly an improvement.  Anything that encourages the expression of empathy and relationship is better for the health of a society.  A society provides you with property rights for the greater good and benefit of all.  

You may feel a bit of a pinch from the loss of privilege as cultural values have changed, but have a heart.  Someone died, and people are grieving.  It should be expected that since all experience tragedy that the owner of the property where a tragic incident occurred would dig into his or her humanity and allow the suffering to grieve the totality of that loss.  

I can't help but disagree John. Sure people are grieving but there is a time and a place for that.The point I was making is that I personally don't believe it is an acceptable practice to allow people to erect a memorial where ever they please. When highway maintenance workers trimming brush at the side of the road damage "unofficial memorials" placed there by persons unknown,should they really be held accountable for disturbing a memorial. If someone takes a heart attack  and dies in the middle of a mall, should it be acceptable for grieving family members to erect a monument there.In the future space is going to become a problem.

Good point.  I see what you mean about things getting out of control.  That would be pretty bad, but to be fair I wasn't advocating something that extreme.  What about a middle ground?  Obviously a high-traffic area wouldn't be good.    And unofficial memorials should rarely be protected by law, if at all.  I just don't think it should be considered disrespect to erect a memorial.  In England, for instance there are different standards for walking on private property.  I am saying that what you are seeing is a change for the better in cultural values and expectations.  

I agreee to a point. Could not the memorial be taken down or moved after some appropriate grieving period. Also, let's be honest, in more cases than not, the unfortuante vicitimes were in a car with a drunk driver or killed by a drunk a driver! Is that what these memorials are about?

Who do you think would be removing them. Not the people who put them there as they want them to be there forever.I don't think it has anything to do with drunk drivers.It is just an emerging attitude that if not challenged will become acceptable and the roadways will look like graveyards.

That sounds eerily similar to my high school, Leslie. There was a car crash literally right in front of my school and the boy who died (wasn't even driving!) was well-liked around the campus. His memorial includes a picture of him and is always adorned with flowers. Its impossible to miss if you're driving by the school or in and out of the school parking lot. That was five or six years ago now. I have mixed feelings about seeing it all the time, it's so odd that it's right outside the school he went to.

If someone is responsible for the death, put a memorial out in front of their house.

Now that would put some perspective on the issue!


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