She insulted my apartment so I knocked her flat.

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How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

What happened when Moses went to Mount Olive?

Popeye knocked him out!

A dyslexic priest walks into a bra...

A priest, a rabbi, and a fronkey walk into a bar...

Whats white, sticky and moves across the sky at a thousand miles an hour?

The coming of our Lord

Pilot: We're going down!

Scout Leader: There aren't enough parachutes, we must give them to the children!

Lawyer: Fuck the children!

Priest: Do you think there's time?

Why can't Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting nailed against the boards.

His fans say that he's (Jesus) a great hockey player because he makes so many saves.

His detractors argue that all his saves are after the game though...so they don't count.

:D

And of course he never wins at sudden death!

A neutron walks into a church.

Priest: You can't be in here!

Neutron: But without me you have no mass.

Davis, was that a neutron who entered the church or a parishoner named Higgs?

A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog vendor and says "Make me one with everything"

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