I'd like to formally introduce myself, I can see myself being a pretty active user here. I'm a 35 year old divorced mom of two teenaged boys, living in Massachusetts.

I've only officially been an atheist for 5 years or so. Looking back I really can't believe it took me so long. I guess I just really wanted to believe. I didn't have an aha moment, it happened gradually.

Most people I know are Christian. Once you see the truth, there's just no going back. It can be a lonely place. I'm grateful the internet enables me to connect with others who think like I do.

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Welcome to Think Atheist. Yes,once you see through the fog of faith there is no returning. It is not possible.

See Belle for fog of faith recidivism.


Your handle is strangely reminiscent of a song. 

I grew up in MA and never felt any hostility towards me for being an atheist. So hopefully your apostasy is less an issue than say some person who finds herself in the bible belt. 

I don't feel hostility so to speak. I just don't feel like I have a place I "belong" like people do with church, and I crave that.

Gotcha, youmy...815, well if having atheists in your life does not happen organically ya gotta make it happen. So i guess that means ya join stinking atheist groups and date stinking atheists. 

 So i guess that means ya join stinking atheist groups and date stinking atheists.

Aww, how sweet, and... self-deprecating!

Hi browneyedgirl, welcome to TA.

I quit my teenage boy years in December of 1950, while I was in the US Navy. I quit my Catholic years while in college and EVERYTHING IMPROVED.

My best wishes to you.

BTW, I once belonged to clubs I joined; I'm now a member of such clubs.

Welcome to TA! I'm a 34 year old single mom of one - soon to be 2 kids!....I look forward to getting to know you more :)

In a more perfect world, it would be no more difficult than if you were one of the first kids your age (kindergarten or so, etc) to not believe in Santa Claus.

Some initial outrage/anger over your different opinion, followed by eventual admiration for being an early realizer of the truth...and its a done deal, and so forth.

In our world, its more like the other kids, even in HS and college, plus their parents, etc, ALL still believe in Santa, and, you are feeling alone in your knowledge....instead of complemented on being smart.

In a nut shell, all you need to do is absorb that there are MANY groups that gather for common interests, and not ONLY church groups.

After that, see if you HAVE any interests/things you might want to explore.

As a mom, you may not have taken the TIME to actually THINK about what YOU WANT.

It might be craft related, or science related, or outdoor or sport related, etc....the kids might want to be in scouts, and you can be den mother/chaperon...you might want to check out geocaching, or knitting, or hang gliding/skiing, scuba, chess, volunteer at a soup kitchen/shelter or other charity, play soccer, fencing, kickboxing, poker, or whatever.

The only important thing is you need to TRY a few things you might be interested in, to see if it clicks/if the people you'd be associating with are cool, etc.

That way, you are NOT pretending you feel a certain way to be accepted by a group of people who are NOT pretending...and who WOULD reject you, typically, because of your lack of agreement with them.

People who can be friends with people they disagree with are priceless.


I love your analogy because as a kid I can remember thinking it seemed similar to the whole Santa/Easter Bunny thing…but only briefly. I never allowed myself to think about it too long because I was afraid God would punish me for thinking such awful things!

When I first “realized” I was an atheist, I was still married, still spending a lot of time with old neighbors and friends. A lot has changed this past year and I find myself very isolated and wanting that community feeling that I see a lot of people have with going to church. I want the friends and support without the silly fairytales. My kids are teenagers so there aren’t anymore playdates or other activities where I used to meet a lot of people. I guess I need to figure out what my own interests are and try some new things…I’ve spent my entire adult life as a mom (I had my oldest when I was 17) and never really took the time to focus on myself.


Its the same thing....so, yeah.


Now that the kids are teens, you DO have a little bit more time to yourself, especially after they can drive themselves/take public transportation when needed, to free you up, for, you.

DO take the time to think about what interests you....what makes you smile, etc.

It might be more time with the kids......my kids are older than you are....and, trust me, they grow up fast....and this is when you cement the remaining bonds/relationship that you end up with as a grandparent, etc.  If the kids' G Parents or other family/friends are still around, including them too can be rewarding...unless they are annoying, etc.


So, if the FAMILY likes to do something...together....that might be a good starting point.

You of course can have as many interests as logistically possible....so, you might cultivate some family activities, some that are just for you, etc.

For some, just something like reading a novel or article, etc, might be all it takes to relax and enjoy the time.  Others need an adrenaline rush, etc...and more action...and, many of us want both, but not at the same time per se, and so forth.


Check Meetup.com for your area and see if there are any Freethinker groups, Humanist Groups, Philosophy groups.  That's how I did it in my own area.

Good Luck



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