Do Opossum Go To Heaven?

The last time he came in here I threw him out and told him not to come back.

Well he came back and now he's dead.

Wasn't there a movie a while ago "All Dogs go to Heaven"?

So now the question is do Opossum get to go too?

Tomorrow I will have to open the floor and fix the bullet holes in the plumbing, I think the nasty thing should go straight to HELL!

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Permalink Reply by Gregg RThomas on May 18, 2017 at 10:37pm

I just finished repairing the plumping tomorrow I will turn the water back on and see if my plumbing job holds water. Davis since you love Opossum kind I will gladly send you all my future kills. Would like me to process them first? They are dirty filthy evil creatures you know. Empathy for all beings? Even Catholic Priests?

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Permalink Reply by TJ on May 18, 2017 at 7:01pm

Have you considered that every hit on your plumbing represents a miss of a possum?

Also, it seems likely that shots that did not hit the possum, also missed the plumbing at some frequency as well.

In short, out of the 8 shots, how many hit the UMF?

Its possible all of them missed, and he played dead, and you fell for it.

Any missing ketchup packets?

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Permalink Reply by Gregg RThomas on May 18, 2017 at 10:45pm

All 8 shots hit the UMF. Unfortunately I was shooting Silver bullets which as we all know will not lodge in an UMF and simply pass thru into the plumbing beneath the subfloor. Silver is one of the Noble Metals and does not hang around inside UMF's next time I will use Lead bullets and the UMF can just die of Led Poisoning. :)

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Permalink Reply by TJ on May 20, 2017 at 5:29pm

LOL

Maybe if all your rounds end up in your plumbing, at least avoid the domestic drinking water supply, to reduce the lead in your water?

If TRULY Noble, of course, the bullets would NOT hit plumbing, as that can be ignoble.

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Permalink Reply by Gregg RThomas on May 21, 2017 at 9:26am

So last night there is a rustling in the junk room, I closed the door. This morning I opened the door to check and see what was the cause of the noise....Holy Crap...a Baby Opossum WTF (TWICE) I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT!!!

No more shooting in the house. Does anyone know how to deal with this Baby Opossum???

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Permalink Reply by Davis Goodman on May 21, 2017 at 10:08am

The more time you spend with the cute wide eyed tiny little thing the quicker you will fall and make it your favourite pet. Only you'll then discover that there are 10 brothers and sisters and it will don on you that your hatred of them as a mask for what is really a complete adoration. You will become an Opposum breeder with a sanctuary for maimed and abandoned opposum victims.

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Permalink Reply by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on May 21, 2017 at 10:28am

I happen to have a few spare "green acres" if you want to use them....I heard it's the place to be.

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Permalink Reply by Davis Goodman on May 21, 2017 at 6:24pm

Well Reg, what I gather from Greg's comments is that Opposums don't eat grass but instead eat pure molten lava, evil-paste, brain-tumors and human toe nails. I don't suppose you have any of these abundant in your farm...do you?

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Permalink Reply by Gregg RThomas on May 23, 2017 at 9:24am

@Davis Goodman:

"...is that Opposums don't eat grass but instead eat pure molten lava, evil-paste, brain-tumors and human toe nails. "

I'm sure it says that somewhere in the Holy Bibble maybe in Oppussum25:14.

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Permalink Reply by Strega on May 23, 2017 at 2:00pm

It's in the name. They used to be Possums but the continuous praying chanting (Oh Possom!) has been reflected in the moniker update, to where we are today :)