I noticed some patterns, here, and on other sites, and even in person, where creationist inspired people cut and paste something that they got from a creationist source, but don't really know what they are saying, don't know its ridiculous, and are then incredulous that others on the atheist site, etc, don't take them seriously.

They then either DO realize it was ridiculous, and go away, embarrassed, or, get biblical on us, telling we're going to hell, or that we are disrespectful of their opinion, or arrogant, or think we're right, or just mean, etc.

An example:

We are carpenters, we practice carpentry.

We have a site, and we discuss carpentry.

There are people who don't believe in carpentry, they say its impossible, its just common sense that there can't be carpentry...its ridiculous.  It also is in conflict with their core religious beliefs...so, those who insist there is carpentry are blaspheming their religion.

Welder of God -

Hi! I just thought I'd stop by and say hi, and discuss carpentry with you.  I hope you can accept me even though I don't believe in carpentry, but I enjoy a friendly intellectual discussion.

Jesus -

Sure, all are welcome!  Why don't you believe in carpentry?

Welder of God - Well, all I have to do is look around me, and there's no evidence of carpentry, but I do see enormous skyscrapers and cars, and tall trees growing up into the glorious blue sky...and I can logically deduce that if the trees are tall and growing into the sky, they could not ALSO be made into what you refer to as "lumber".

Skyscrapers and cars are welded together, and are not made of wood, and, that is as God demands.

Jesus - Well, OK, some things ARE welded together as you said, but some trees ARE cut down to make lumber.

Welder of God - I have never in my entire life, seen a single tree that was made into lumber.  I have hiked the Appalachian Trail, I have been to all of our national forests, I even went to the alleged tree farms where they are supposed to make lumber, and, there were no lumber in those forests, just TREES.

If I don't see a tree turn into lumber,  I know that there's no such thing as lumber...a tree can't just turn into a chair, its impossible.

Jesus - Um, I make chairs, from wood.  I get wood from the tree farm, where they cut down the trees, saw them into planks, and sell me the planks.

You can't see the tree turn into lumber, because there are many steps before that happens.

Welder of God - Look, I respect your right to your beliefs, but, if no one has ever seen a tree turn into a chair, its just not possible.  You have to use common sense.


Jesus - I have personally nailed pieces of wood together to make chairs.  There are wiky articles on how to make chairs, with pictures.

Welder of God - I saw them, they are all photoshopped.  Besides, its impossible to attach pieces of wood together with nails.

Jesus - Here's a picture of chairs I made with nails.

Welder of God - That's photoshopped, very obvious editing there, but nice try.  I'm not that gullible,  ;)

Here's a scientific paper proving that nails are made of keratin. 

Here's an excerpt from a structural engineer who STATES quite clearly that finger nails lack the structural rigidity required to drive them into wood to join the pieces together.

Here's another scientific paper about keratin. 

So, I have PROVEN that nails can NOT be used to join wood together, its impossible.

Jesus - Look, you don't know what you are talking about, you're quoting obviously biased anti-carpentry materials, and it would be a great idea if you were to read up on carpentry before making any more ludicrous claims.

Welder of God - I was WARNED that you carpenters are a nasty bitter lot.  With no welds to hold your lives together and your knowing that you will burn in a lake of plasma for all eternity, its no wonder you are so angry at Welders.

Jesus - We are not angry at welders, we are frustrated that welders paste stuff they don't understand and then get upset when they are told that they need to read some books not from anti-carpenter sites.

Welder of God - Look, I SHOWED you proof that carpentry is impossible, and you did not comprehend the wisdom I was trying to convey to you.  I can't help you if your comprehension is too low to understand.

Jesus - I comprehended what you said, which is why I knew you didn't know what you were talking about.  For example, we use nails made of metal, not keratin.  The WORD "nails" can refer to more than one kind of nail.

Finger nails are not the same kind of nails as used.  Its the same word, but with a different meaning.

Welder of God - I showed you a scientific paper proving nails are made of keratin. You say they are not, so, we can agree to disagree, but I'm putting my faith in the science...which says they ARE made of keratin, which obviously, your carpentry beliefs disagree with.

Jesus - Any chance you'll read a book about carpentry?

Welder of God - I have a lot of books on carpentry.  The anti-carpentry society web site has many links for unbiased information on it.

And so forth.

At some point it might degrade to things along the lines of:

Welder of God - And the Great Welder did proclaim that those who accept the glory of melding molten metal will ascend to the glorious CAD/CAM in the sky, and that those who do not are fools who will burn forever at the  of the torch of god...drowning in a lake of plasma for all eternity.

Those who ridicule the welders as fools, are themselves fools, where by their foolishness, reveal the blazing divinity of the welders.

Any one else notice this sort of pattern?


Views: 346

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Sorry, you're right.

I just couldn't see the woods for the trees.

For many people, backing away from the trees to look at the forest just goes against the grain.  They need to turn over a new leaf, branch out intellectually, trunkate their tendency to focus on minor details.

God is my riveting welder in the sky who fills my head with joy and sparkles joining me with my fellow man...melting the hardest hearts and the most jagged minds. His word is our blowtorch and his love is our sheet of copper inbetween metal plates so they stick together better...he is so powerful and mighty he needs no metal/glass mask to shield him from fire spray. That is the incredible strength of God for whom no project is too difficult nor whom any job is completed over budget or late by weeks. We are Gods raw material and his message is what melts our hearts to solidify us into an alloy that works better together, stronger than any single element especially if a trace amount of aluminum is added to it. God makes us earthquake resistant and waterproof through his endless forgiveness and strong working boots he never forgets to tie. Let's sing the praises of our lord by all getting together...pooling our resources...and building an elevator shaft that goes so high...we will meet the grand-welder in the sky in his own kingdom in the clouds!! Who is with me?


I love all the welding puns you melded so seamlessly.

Yew will all be sorry for these puns if Strega finds out.

I am wearing my Zaphod specs to moderate. Every pun is blacked out. I've been wondering why you are all posting blank posts... Hmmmm

Next we need to talk about Noah's Arc.


Gopher wood no less



If you have Noah buoyancy, you sink.


Well, either can make the other go down.

Only one of the two tends to have wood though.



Well sliver my timbers!

CARPenters get wood when a sliver of a girl falls into the water....

....and, if that's true, would a ship's log book be like pornography for them?


© 2023   Created by Rebel.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service