I noticed some patterns, here, and on other sites, and even in person, where creationist inspired people cut and paste something that they got from a creationist source, but don't really know what they are saying, don't know its ridiculous, and are then incredulous that others on the atheist site, etc, don't take them seriously.

They then either DO realize it was ridiculous, and go away, embarrassed, or, get biblical on us, telling we're going to hell, or that we are disrespectful of their opinion, or arrogant, or think we're right, or just mean, etc.

An example:

We are carpenters, we practice carpentry.

We have a site, and we discuss carpentry.

There are people who don't believe in carpentry, they say its impossible, its just common sense that there can't be carpentry...its ridiculous.  It also is in conflict with their core religious beliefs...so, those who insist there is carpentry are blaspheming their religion.

Welder of God -

Hi! I just thought I'd stop by and say hi, and discuss carpentry with you.  I hope you can accept me even though I don't believe in carpentry, but I enjoy a friendly intellectual discussion.

Jesus -

Sure, all are welcome!  Why don't you believe in carpentry?

Welder of God - Well, all I have to do is look around me, and there's no evidence of carpentry, but I do see enormous skyscrapers and cars, and tall trees growing up into the glorious blue sky...and I can logically deduce that if the trees are tall and growing into the sky, they could not ALSO be made into what you refer to as "lumber".

Skyscrapers and cars are welded together, and are not made of wood, and, that is as God demands.

Jesus - Well, OK, some things ARE welded together as you said, but some trees ARE cut down to make lumber.

Welder of God - I have never in my entire life, seen a single tree that was made into lumber.  I have hiked the Appalachian Trail, I have been to all of our national forests, I even went to the alleged tree farms where they are supposed to make lumber, and, there were no lumber in those forests, just TREES.

If I don't see a tree turn into lumber,  I know that there's no such thing as lumber...a tree can't just turn into a chair, its impossible.

Jesus - Um, I make chairs, from wood.  I get wood from the tree farm, where they cut down the trees, saw them into planks, and sell me the planks.

You can't see the tree turn into lumber, because there are many steps before that happens.

Welder of God - Look, I respect your right to your beliefs, but, if no one has ever seen a tree turn into a chair, its just not possible.  You have to use common sense.


Jesus - I have personally nailed pieces of wood together to make chairs.  There are wiky articles on how to make chairs, with pictures.

Welder of God - I saw them, they are all photoshopped.  Besides, its impossible to attach pieces of wood together with nails.

Jesus - Here's a picture of chairs I made with nails.

Welder of God - That's photoshopped, very obvious editing there, but nice try.  I'm not that gullible,  ;)

Here's a scientific paper proving that nails are made of keratin. 

Here's an excerpt from a structural engineer who STATES quite clearly that finger nails lack the structural rigidity required to drive them into wood to join the pieces together.

Here's another scientific paper about keratin. 

So, I have PROVEN that nails can NOT be used to join wood together, its impossible.

Jesus - Look, you don't know what you are talking about, you're quoting obviously biased anti-carpentry materials, and it would be a great idea if you were to read up on carpentry before making any more ludicrous claims.

Welder of God - I was WARNED that you carpenters are a nasty bitter lot.  With no welds to hold your lives together and your knowing that you will burn in a lake of plasma for all eternity, its no wonder you are so angry at Welders.

Jesus - We are not angry at welders, we are frustrated that welders paste stuff they don't understand and then get upset when they are told that they need to read some books not from anti-carpenter sites.

Welder of God - Look, I SHOWED you proof that carpentry is impossible, and you did not comprehend the wisdom I was trying to convey to you.  I can't help you if your comprehension is too low to understand.

Jesus - I comprehended what you said, which is why I knew you didn't know what you were talking about.  For example, we use nails made of metal, not keratin.  The WORD "nails" can refer to more than one kind of nail.

Finger nails are not the same kind of nails as used.  Its the same word, but with a different meaning.

Welder of God - I showed you a scientific paper proving nails are made of keratin. You say they are not, so, we can agree to disagree, but I'm putting my faith in the science...which says they ARE made of keratin, which obviously, your carpentry beliefs disagree with.

Jesus - Any chance you'll read a book about carpentry?

Welder of God - I have a lot of books on carpentry.  The anti-carpentry society web site has many links for unbiased information on it.

And so forth.

At some point it might degrade to things along the lines of:

Welder of God - And the Great Welder did proclaim that those who accept the glory of melding molten metal will ascend to the glorious CAD/CAM in the sky, and that those who do not are fools who will burn forever at the  of the torch of god...drowning in a lake of plasma for all eternity.

Those who ridicule the welders as fools, are themselves fools, where by their foolishness, reveal the blazing divinity of the welders.

Any one else notice this sort of pattern?


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Yeah, I purposefully used a different scenario to separate out the issues, in case a theist reads it before posting and perhaps the seed of understanding gets planted in time.

If I used the real issues, those would be the focus instead of the concept....and block their recognition of the parallel.

Hence it going into the welcome section.


I like it - has a ring of familiarity about it.

Substituting the rationalist/atheist/humanist with Jesus himself...is a masterstroke.

You nailed it.

With, lest I be misunderstood, iron nails.

If you found a cabin made from logs in the middle of a forest then wood you knot have evidence for carpentry?. Take that Welders!!

Welder of God - Cabins made of logs are a KIND OF WOOD, so, nothing new was created.

Take THAT carpenters!


Jesus - As I am perfect, being also god, my furniture is of course exquisite yet functional, and cures back and neck problems.

I am somewhat disappointed that out of all the "Jesus Relics" people have cherished over the years, even my Burial Shroud I accidentally left in a bistro in Turin one day,  no one saved a single piece of my furniture.

I think those "Jesus Relic" freaks should branch out and form their own splinter group.

There have been some Tree Tease written on that grain of thought.

I refuse to bough to their less pithy sources.

I like to get to the root issues though, and these poor saps are all bark and no blight.

They try to shred our trunk full of ideas by preaching from their Pulp-it.


I've always gone against the grain, thank you very mulch.

I bough to your cross cut of the issues.

It is appropriate to post.


No...... not the puns again. Reg, I blame you for this. There is a 100% correlation between posts that descend into puns and your recent input. :-)


We must descend to get to dig down to the roots of the thread.

Do not view it as a form of dry rot.  If you get board, find a plank to be too constant, etc, you can always leaf.


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