Over the course of the last 7 months, I have found myself entangled in a web that's now become...confusing and scary. My boss and I have developed what could be seen as an inappropriate relationship. I guess I don't know how inappropriate it is to be honest. But it feels like we've crossed a lot of lines. But then again I'm not really sure. I don't know....But he is a Christian. I did ask him why he believes what he believes. He told me his testimony. He also told me in a conversation we were having about God that...there is no such thing as proof. It is all by faith alone. I feel like his influence is pulling me back to my Christian faith and it's....scary. I don't know what to do.

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You don't have to follow suit with what he believes, you can keep your own beliefs and it's OK. 

I was hoping to marry a Christian at one stage, we would have stayed firmly in our own camps staunch atheist / staunch evangelical.  Maybe she wouldn't have been able to tolerate my atheism, I don't know. 

I don't think I really know what I believe or who I am.

"I don't know" is a perfectly valid position, and a wise thing to say. 

I think you're an atheist and not a Christian.  At the same time, in the right hands, a Christian perspective is very useable and attractive. 

My point is that between two good people, there's common ground just by virtue of being good people.  Personally I have my own atheist version of religion and it coincides with Christianity on a number of key points. 

  • Yeah, proof is for shit that is real whereas make-believe is excluded cuz...well it is not real...so ya have to stop thinking about it and accept it even though ya know it is crap or ya dont know you are deluded...which is what he is
  • You can have a relationship with the guy without following his lead in having faith. Faith is one of the most destructive aspects of human nature. 
It's not a relationship

You mean you don't have a sexual or love relationship, I assume. Every person on Earth has some sort of relationship with every other person. In fact, several types of relations. Relationships described by similarities and dissimilarities. Things you agree or disagree on. At a minimum, you have a geographical relationship. I'm West of everyone in England, for example. 

So, I assume you're saying you aren't involved in a romantic or sexual relationship. Right?

Yes mr smarty pants, lol that is what I meant.

Hi Belle. It is his “Christian duty” to attempt to convert you. But if you don’t believe it – you don’t believe it! He believes in his God on faith alone. I agree there is no such thing as proof. You don’t need any. All you need is some evidence. However, not only is there no proof, there is no evidence.

You can even ignore the proof \ evidence idea for now and just see it as Faith Vs Reason instead.

All he is telling you is why he believes what he believes. He is telling you his state of mind and how he views the world.  It is just his subjective opinion.  

Here is a line of questioning that I sometimes take:

Do you believe your God created the Universe and everything in it?

Do you believe that you are communicating with God when you pray?

Do you believe/hope that you will go to Heaven when you die?

If they answer “Yes” to those 3 questions I ask them to further explain it because I do not believe this is possible.

“I do not believe that you can be in communication with the Creator of the Universe and I do not believe that you will become immortal and exist forever”. I am not asking for proof, only for some evidence. Quoting the Bible at me is not evidence. You cannot use scripture to prove scripture.

Again his testimony can appear as perfectly reasonable to him (and even to you) but remember he is making an extraordinary claim. He may have no proof but claiming that “faith alone” is sufficient is just a cop out.

Faith is pretending to know things that we cannot possible know. Start to challenge him. Ask him, when he is home, to write down on paper his “Top 5” beliefs about his God and the reasons why he holds them to be true without mentioning the Bible. Give him a week to do this and ask him to keep the answers short – one or two lines only. This will get him to challenge what he actually believes himself. Get Socratic on him!!

I've already gotten Socratic on him. He was agnostic for most of his life, and is also a skeptic. He ran through several Hitchens and Condell videos. He is also very knowledgeable about history, is well travelled (military) and even seen many of the historical sites in Turkey....some of which didn't make it into history books until recently. I've never met a Christian like him.

What made him change from being agnostic to his current delusional state? Just because a person is well traveled and knows stuff about history shouldn't really mean that much in terms of your personal beliefs. What some people fail to understand is that there are lot of Christian folks out there that want to believe so fervently that a god exists that they will fudge research findings and then tout them as if they are truth. They will throw the scientific method out the window if they can only believe that their god exists. Which means they would also be willing to throw anything out the window including historical truths/untruths. 

There are folks who can make an atheist/christian relationship work. I have friends that do it because they love each other. They don't care what other people say or think about who is right or wrong.So if it's something you wish to pursue then you should probably give it some thought before committing to any real relationship investment. Especially since your job could be at stake if you/he decides not to continue with what you started. 

Good luck! 


It's not a relationship. He's a married man.


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