A lot of kids brought up in the Bible Belt get really shy and quiet when it comes to sex (or dating, or even holding hands). This is a bit of a problem for me, because my high school has a lot of people who moved in from other states- and therefore see nothing wrong with cursing every five words, kissing in the hallways, and holding discussions about body parts that I prefer not to think about.

I read somewhere that the mentality there would be "Sex is a disgusting, horrible, nasty, unclean thing- so you should only do it with someone you really love"

Is it like this all across the South? Can I do anything about my crippling shyness?(Believe me, I get teased for it)

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  Another really twisted part of this mentality is that one should reserve disgusting, horrible, nasty, unclean things only for the one you love.  

Thank you.  I was thinking the same thing.  WTF?

Dante,

Don't consider your shyness a character fault/flaw. I know young people can feel a need to fit in with their peers but when it comes to sex and relationships involving sex you need to be your own person. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being shy about those matters. Situations arise where you have to make judgement calls and you're always better off erring on the side of caution. With STD's and teenage pregnancy you have a lot to think about as far as being responsible and true to one's own self. If your school has guidance counselors they can be helpful with advice. Don't let peer pressure make you feel obligated to be like everyone else. I wish you well.

+ 1

+1.782

Dante is entitled to be himself (Dante is a masculine name, right?). 

I prefer not to indicate my gender, so take my name any way you want to

However, currently I think of myself as asexual (a comforting thought that ties into my question)

Unfortunately, the English language leaves us with neutral terms like "it" when "he" or "she" are taken off the menu. I'll use "he" because the original Dante was a male.

Yes, it is that way in a lot of places, especially in the South.

As for your shyness, work on feeling good both about yourself and the world around you.  I don't know enough about you to make concrete suggestions, but if there is something about yourself or your environment that makes you feel less confident, then try to find a way to change it if you can.  If you can't change it, try to find a way to think and feel about it in a more positive way.

Its not so much a confidence problem, its got to do with the way I (apparently) involuntarily blush every time the subject comes up

You mention body parts that you prefer not to think about. Maybe you should start by examining why you feel so uncomfortable about them. In the animal world, you can see those parts fairly easily. It's interesting that you feel you have an aversion to "thinking" about them. Perhaps you might do a little introspection and see if you can come up with a reason for your aversion.

There wouldn't be anyone in the Bible Belt if it wasn't for sex. It's the way we multiply our numbers and pass on our DNA. Does it not seem somehow ironic that you've been conditioned to avoid thinking about those body parts involved in sexual activity, yet have no similar conditioning regarding death and dismemberment?

Good luck in your journey towards free thought :)

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