Atheist slogans to ward off door to door christians.

Hi everyone,

    I have always thought about putting a slogan or quote on my front door to try and ward off the door to door Christians. Just wondering if anyone has any good ones that will make atheists laugh but religious people slightly offended or uncomfortable?

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This isn't slogans but I found these lines to repeat to mission boys showing up on your door-step. A few are helarious:

  • I'm happy to talk to you all day...since that means you'll be off the streets and unable to dupe someone more vulnerable than I am.
  • Morning of goodness & light to you, Insha'Allah!
  • (to girls) :Young lady, you're in no position to be a missionary.
  • Pleased to meet you. You have three chances to guess my name correctly OR ELSE!!!!
  • I would love to speak with you, but the Viagra is just kicking in.
  • My flaming gay boyfriend doesn't approve of Christianity and will slap me silly if he sees me talking to other men for too long!
  • Hey hey! I'm a mormon / JW too!! Glad to see you're out there fighting the good fight, brother!!! Carry on.
  • look, you seem like nice kids, now get the fuck off of my property

I went to those sites, and the comments section at the bottom, with a JW bitching that people should treat JW's with more respect and common courtesy, and implying that not wanting to talk to them is even funnier, in a scary and yet enlightening way, than the suggestions to avoid them.

The EX-JW explaining how the more obvious you make it that you are off limits, the more holy the quest/the more kudos they earn at their hall..the better.

IE: A big no tresspassing sign, having them thrown in jail, claiming to be an apostate, atheist, evangelical, etc, means GIANT TROPHY for even trying.

So, its mostly a personal quest for privacy combined with tolerance for those who make it a sport to overcome your resistance.

A porch with a sign that says to stay off the porch, combined with a trap door in the floor at the front door, might work.

The fun part/tricky part would be the way you design the pit they fall into.....


I would say the pit should be lined with a smooth round building material so that nothing hurts them on the way down and the bottom is filled with all sorts of soft and spongy sex toys. That would be the polite way to do it I think. not full of fire and brimstone then?

I'll have to redo, um I mean re-think, this....


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