This is What Jehovah's Witnesses Actually Believe

Comment by Cara Coleen on September 14, 2009 at 8:37pm
Out of the millions and billions of people ever born, only 144,00 make it? The chances of making it are worse than winning the lottery! Man, I'd feel like I wasted a dollar attempting to win; what a waste of LIVES! Sounds like God isn't a very good designer... ;)
Comment by James on September 14, 2009 at 8:47pm
Yeah, makes perfect sense. lol :)

Gotta hate those odds though. Only 144,000... If there's a tie near the cut-off do they have a 'pray off'?
Comment by DeSwiss on September 15, 2009 at 12:17am
Don't Jehovah Witnesses realize that since there are more than 144,000 of them, that somebody's not going to make it? Its like a lottery-religion.

"Hurray, hurray, hurray. Step right up and get your tickets folks. Be one of the lucky 144,000 who gets their tickets punched personally by Jehovah!!!"

Comment by Billy Zachary on September 16, 2009 at 10:57am
wow. just... wow.
Comment by theMadJW on January 31, 2010 at 7:40pm
Now, let's see what CHURCHianity believes (in general; there are so many divisions).

They believe that God is NOT the Supreme Being , but the Supreme Beings, a "3-in-one Oil" God , if you may- an Almighty, Nameless 'God-the-Father', Jesus the Almighty 'God-the-Son' in the bloodless human body he was buried in- a, shall we say, a Zombie-God, and to top it all off, an Almighty, Nameless Ghost-God.
Adam & Eve were resurrected to Heaven as a result of their Treason, but their offspring, for the most part, have been burning alive for many thousands of years- with Eternity still to go, and to top it all off HERE, the 3-in-one Gods give eternal life to worms to gnaw on them for all eternity, as well.
When Armageddon comes, church believers will be raptured from cars, jobs, beds and bathrooms to the clouds with Christ (riding one around the world many thousands of times, and low enough- so that all can literally SEE him!)
Then, after different scenarios- depending on what church you go to, they, too, end up in the Eternal BBQ Pit they call Hellfire, while the Gods, and 'christians' and angels watch the billions screaming as they burn alive!

Happy Halloween!
Comment by theMadJW on January 31, 2010 at 8:16pm
Also, Jesus never really died- just morphed back into his spirit body, then re-entered his human
corpse after 3 days, and no one recognised him since he was a zombie (living human body
without blood).
They believe he went back to heaven in that body and had all authority RETURNED to him;
he became one of the Gods again...according to CHURCHianity....WOW!
Comment by Nate on May 17, 2010 at 8:35pm
this is a very dramatic version of what many witnesses believe, not all witnesses, the video fails to mention that they also believe the earth will become paradise after Armageddon where people will have everlasting life, so most witnesses assume they will be saved during Armageddon to live on paradise earth, theres actually a pretty big difference between modern day witnesses and old fashioned witness, i was raised as a Jehovah's witness and it was very confusing as many of them had similar views but often conflicting views too
Comment by Cynical Soldier on May 17, 2010 at 9:28pm
The 144,000 that supposedly ascend to heaven are "anointed," which means they are chosen by Jehovah to govern Paradise Earth (post-armageddon) along with Jesus. If anyone has questions about these specific theist nut jobs, I can help you out. I should know - I was raised as one.
Comment by Gaytor on May 18, 2010 at 10:11am
A blog idea... So how do JW's reconcile the past declarations of the impending doom of the world? If we have a half dozen Witness declarations of the end of the world, and it didn't happen, how did the church survive? Can someone whom might know address that?
Comment by Nate on May 18, 2010 at 2:38pm
hey gaytor, the sad part is that a lot of JW's aren't even aware of the history of their own religion, its definitely not something that they are taught for obvious reasons, they are some of the nicest people ive met, but also the most close minded people I have ever met and i think its wrong for them to be going door to door preaching something that the majority of them haven't done the proper amount of research on.

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