Zeus-1 Jesus-0
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100616/ap_on_re_us/us_lightning_strike...
I actually drove by this on my way up from spring break a couple of months ago. It's Touchdown Jesus, aka Big Butter Jesus aka I can't believe it's not Jesus. Here is what recently occured:
Before:
After:
Is it just me or is the "After" Jesus just so much hotter?
Well folks, It looks like one of two things happened; 1) Jesus was caught with Yahweh's porn stash, and we all know the god of the OT is a vindictive pric (although isn't Jesus his own father) or 2) Zeus is sick of this Christianity BS and is finally standing up for himself....in which case....nice shot! I don't think I could pull that shit off from that high up in the air.
So what would you expect to be the reaction from our Christian friends (assuming you have any you militant bastards). Well, when I posted this on facebook one of the more common responses was; "Oh don't worry Eric, this is just testing our faith, they are going to build another one!" Wait what?...or que? for our spanish speaking friends (McCain please don't deport me). 99% of the time, when some kind of natural phenomenon happens to take anything else down or destroy it, Christians are the first people to say "It was a sign from god" or "god doesn't like what we are doing there" or "It's because we have fags in our nation" (that last one'd be Phelps...no, not the swimmer). How are you not taking this as a sign that your imaginary friend in the sky actually does read his own best selling book and doesn't like your false idols? Confirmation bias? We only see what approves of our narrative. In this case, to them, it appears to simply be that lightening struck the sculpture and that's that...you know, the rational explanation. Of course, had it been a statue of Darwin...oh man, watch out. We'd get an ear full. This would undoubtfully be the result of god's displeasure with Darwin and/or fags...or worse yet, a gay Darwin. Never mind that the proverbial Darwin statue was struck during a storm and the structure itself consists of long metal poles stretching toward the sky (don't think a Darwin sculpture would be reaching toward the sky though?). Nope, instead, in this instance they are saying that their faith is strong and they will be rebuilding as soon as they can (probably out of the same flammable shit because these tards don't know material science, let alone any science!). Not even blinking an eye....not looking for a supernatural explanation. Why can't they be this rational about other natural events?
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Comment by EricT on June 17, 2010 at 11:05am -
Haha...good point! I would say jesus could have just jumped in the water to put the flames out, but everyone knows he can't swim....he can only walk on water (just ignore the platform).
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Comment by Galen on June 17, 2010 at 1:54pm -
LOL, I love your writing style. Entertaining and informative.
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Comment by EricT on June 17, 2010 at 2:02pm
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Thanks Galen. It comes from growing up with a smart ass dad. I can't just write seriously after being scarred with his lame sense of humor, I have to be cheezy too :-p
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Comment by EricT on June 17, 2010 at 2:23pm
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Developement since I posted: Turns out #1 above was the correct answer. There was a Porn Shop right across the street from this church and he chose to take out BBJ. Now I am 100% sure that Jesus is a masochist! On a serious note, let's go back into the world of "what if?" What if it did hit the porn shop. Could you imagine the response! I mean, other than the preacher being very dissapointed; this would have been shoved down our throats as undeniable proof that Bette Midler was indeed prescient when she sang "god is watching over us from a distance." I'm sorry, but Bette Midler was wrong, and I don't just mean for turning down the lead role in Sister Act (what a mistake....singing nuns, who wouldn't want that role?!).
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Comment by Jānis Ķimsis on June 17, 2010 at 2:31pm -
Eric, god was aiming for the porn shop, he just has crappy aim.
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Comment by EricT on June 17, 2010 at 2:43pm
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Ooooh good one! You know, that actually makes perfect sense. It solves the "argument of evil," answers why god has done such horrible things in the OT and beyond, and answers why humans and other animals have vestiduial structures and appear as though they've evolved. It wasn't intentional, he's just the epitomy of incompitence to such an extreme degree that they really don't have a word for it. I can just picture him now; Yehwah: "I'm gonna hit the porn shop, I'm gonna hit the porn shopI won't screw up this time, I'm gonna hit the porn shop....aaahhhhh Jesus Christ!!"
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Comment by EricT on June 17, 2010 at 3:22pm
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Yeah it turns out they are about a half mile apart (It's called Hustler Hollywood)....lol....the story I read made it sound like they were across the street.
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Comment by Jānis Ķimsis on June 17, 2010 at 6:03pm
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I reiterate - he can't aim worth shit.
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Comment by EricT on June 17, 2010 at 7:05pm
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lol....indeed, that's one hell of a miss :-p epic fail
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Comment by EricT on June 18, 2010 at 3:01am
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Apparently god doesn't have sattelite guided lightning bolts. He's so incompetent he can't even keep up with the technology of Homo sapiens who are only a couple thousand years into civilization (of that)!
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