I was interested in the recent news about the Catholic and Islamic churches coming together. So I was talking to my boyfriend (who is a theist, Lutheran) about it, and he thought it didn't make sense because they are such different religions so I did a little research and read some of their similarities. I have been to many Catholic masses and I have been to Christian Sunday school before, and I was talking to my boyfriend about how I had a hard time believing in the Noah's arc story.... I said it is simply not possible for 2 of every animal to get on a big boat together and not want to eat eachother and blah blah blah... His reply was... "Of course its true, how else do we get rainbows"

Really? Rainbows? When the sun's light refects off the water, those same rainbows? I became so frustrated with his ignorant resopnse I laughed in his face and then had to turn to my dad to help calm me down. My dad's reply was amazing.

"He's not stupid (he has you for a girlfriend!). It's simply having and holding on to beliefs without being aware of fact-based reality. That's what religion is."


I realized that I do not have a problem with religious people, I have a problem with people who do not accept fact-based reality. How can I take my boyfriend serious?  




Views: 30

Comment by Misty: Baytheist Living! on May 8, 2011 at 2:03pm

I feel for you.

I honestly do. 

Basically everything in Genesis is why I'm atheist. 

Seriously? People actually think that even ONE of every freaking animal on the planet could fit on a boat? Are they unable to do even basic math?

If you stop and think about it, we couldn't even fit all the world's BUGS on one boat. You know how many different species of SPIDERS there are alone?

Ok, so what about all the ocean creatures? When the 'world flooded' that means freshwater had to mix with salt water. The abrupt salinity change would have killed of basically everything above the halocline. The temperature change would have taken care of the rest. The food chain would have collapsed. It's a cute story written by goat herders 2,000 years ago. It is impossible to reconcile science and physics with beliefs like that. I feel the same way you do on so many levels.
I can't respect my boss because he's a moron.
The guy actually refuses to believe that science can and does explain how bees fly.
How am I supposed to take direction from anyone that willfully stupid?

It has gotten to the point that I find myself unable to even be in close proximity to him. His very presence makes my skin crawl. My boss will just open his mouth and drown me in more stupid. What used to be mild annoyance is now a simmering resentment and outright dislike.

If respect plays any role in your relationship, I expect that it is going to become a lot harder for you to cope.
Maybe your natural curiosity and love of logic will start to wear off on him. Maybe you'll open his eyes, and life will become an intelligent discovery together for the two of you.
Or maybe...like with a lot of relationships...you'll become discontent and move on.

I can't date a person I don't respect.
I can't date anyone that isn't at least my intellectual equal (though I prefer someone that is actually a challenge to me. Not just on par.)
I wish you the best, no matter what happens.

Comment by Erin M on May 8, 2011 at 2:14pm
Exactly, there are so many reasons as to why the story is impossible, the same goes for most stories in the bible... I respect many aspects of him, but with this I feel like our relationship is devolving and we are going backwards, so hard to respect someone who genuinely won't accept proven scientific facts. Thanks for your support!!!
Comment by Misty: Baytheist Living! on May 8, 2011 at 2:35pm

I'm here if you ever want to vent. 



I really don't think I have any advice to offer that won't sound disheartening and cynical, though. 

Mainly it's because I'm sort of trapped in my own mental hell at work. I'm sure that's clouding my judgement. 

I've dated theists before. 

My first boyfriend worked for a Christian bookstore. We did naughty things there after closing almost every day, and he yet he was still very concerned by the fact that I'm unbaptized. That was my first suspicion that something wasn't quite right with WASP Christianity. Now he's a lawyer that fights for religious causes. Again..how the fuck do you graduate law school and still insist this is a Christian nation and should have Christian values? Yup. I think I dodged a bullet escaping that one. 

I dated a Mormon for a while, too. He wasn't particularly devout though. He basically said that the holy texts weren't really meant to be taken at face value, and he didn't like the taste of coffee, anyway. Hell, fair enough, I guess. If what you're doing doesn't make you unhappy, why forgo your community status, social comforts and family 'values' for a matter that you don't particularly care about, anyway? He was from one of those small towns that didn't treat non-Mormons too kindly, so at least he wasn't being a direct hypocrite. He was just looking out for his lifestyle first and foremost.  

My first husband was sort of agnostic/universal energy/Buddhist sort of thing. He was a staunch defender of human rights, though. I really respected him for that. He's still a really close friend of mine. His new wife is one of my good friends, too. She's also a huge defender of freedom from religion. (Living in the Middle East as a white woman will do that to you, pretty quick.) They buy into a lot of woo, but they don't shove it down anyone's throats and they don't make the world a worse place because of their belief systems, though. I can't say that I'm bothered all that much by it,then. 

My husband is a British citizen. His family are all agnosticish. They don't go to church, though I think they still do some of the ceremonial crap for the Church of Scotland when a baby is born or whatever. My mother in law told me that their only religious friends are either Catholics or recovering alcoholics. (Or both.) She said that people who turn from drink need something else to lean on, and the church is better than drugs. 

I don't exactly agree with that, but hey. If you aren't harming anyone, I don't particularly care what you do in your spare time, so fair enough. 


I don't even think it is a matter of atheist vs. theist that causes the problem in relationships. 

I think it is 'naturally curious and in awe of the universe' vs. 'too lazy to think for themselves and willing to buy whatever is crammed down their throats.'

Maybe it's even about IQ, too. 


I can't get turned on by an idiot. 

It's too much like child molestation to me. I'd feel like a rapist. 


Comment by Raven on May 8, 2011 at 3:29pm

I know this is completely irrelevant, but the title made me think of yesterday's smbc.


Hopefully it will give everyone a laugh if you haven't seen it yet :)

Comment by Erin M on May 8, 2011 at 4:33pm

'naturally curious and in awe of the universe' vs. 'too lazy to think for themselves and willing to buy whatever is crammed down their throats.' That is brilliantly put!!!!


And that link to the SMBC comic strip was great!!!! I actually laughed out loud =-)


I've been joined to this site for all of a few hours, and I am already very happy, thanks guys!!!


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