To me, it seems my mother has been shopping around for religion all her life. At 40, she went into the Mormon faith, and quickly forced it upon me and my husband as well. We didn't believe in much of anything; just trying to appease her, we agreed to invite a couple of missionaries over for coffee or something and listen to their prepared story for an evening and then tell her we'd think about it, and drop it from there. Upon their arrival, we were polite and invited them in, offered them a seat, and a drink. We then found out that coffee, tea, and caffeine period...was out of the question. The television was muted but on, and they asked that we turn it off for our meeting; that they were also not allowed to see television (unless religious) while on a mission. My husband and I didn't cringe too hard at this at first; they seemed happy and dedicated to their task. Not yet defensive Atheists, we open-mindfully listened to their stories.
They were absolutely as car salesmen. They had a vague answer for everything that was supposed to be from higher authorities and carried unwritten rules of being unquestionable. I only really recall one question I came up with for them, which was, "What about accounts of ghosts? Spiritual connections or sightings, what do you all think of that?" They explained that there is a veil, between our world and "the spirit world," which perhaps some people for some reason had been able to glimpse through for a moment here and there. Their philosophy, new philosophy to be added to the Holy Bible (The Book of Mormon), discovered by a Joseph Smith within the last couple hundred years, included that we all agreed to this life, (we saw this shit before being granted a body and said, "right on, let's do this") and that before this life, and after it I suppose I don't really remember, we were in a place called the spirit world ~ which is separated from the physical life by a metaphorical "thin veil." I did puke a little in my mouth at that; yet I went on to be encouraged to follow these people because of a well-ingrained politeness and understanding they had toward any ..uh..."clients," I'd guess you'd call non-members having a first meeting.
Are We Forgetting Anything? ...Yeah they forgot a freakin' LOT
These guys failed to mention a lot before leaving our home that night, but they amazingly managed to leave us with an appointment to meet the "bishop" and decide on a day to be....*gasp* baptized in! Sooner or later we found out they like to separate the men and women into classes, because we truly were believed to have very different purposes. Men were to all go on to learn things and become levels of elders and such.... while us ladies were in class singing, talking about children and reading a few feminine bible verses, and my personal favorite time, time for passing around "the book," ~to fill in our names on a calendar to say when we would be the hostess for the missionaries to come get a free meal at our home and talk God with us. I became friends with a woman who was disappointed with one grown child for getting married right out of college and who was newly pregnant and happy, but boasted endlessly about the other who was on her "mission," before carrying on with her life. Hmmm. I met quite a few parents of five or more. I was told at the beginning of each month not to forget to put 10% of my husbands paycheck (which wasn't enough when it was a full one!) into my envelope for the bishop; which I never once did and was actually "talked about," for. We were never once told any of this stuff prior to being dipped into the "club." We most especially were never told that we needed special underwear to truly be living a holy life and truly be protected by God, or that we needed to have all kinds of courses and check-offs from the bishop, to get a paper signed, to be allowed to go to a "temple," and that going to the "temple," was the only way to go through the rites and rituals that would "seal" us forever to our families. My mother loves to say this to me to this day, knowing I will not attend this stupid cult, "But they can offer you eternity with your family, and they can save you even after death, they can answer all the questions I've ever had and I've been searching since I was a child! What other church offers that?" *facepalm... that is all I can say (to her anyways.)
Side note: I always wondered, did the 5x over divorced Mormons like my mother actually have to put up with all her ex's for all eternity .. or at least all the fathers of her daughters, none the same, because she believed in this "sealing" stuff? Ok, so they said, "No, you are sealed to who you choose...." Then uh, what if it is per say, not divorce but death that separates a woman or man from 4 or 5 spouses, all of which were sealed to that person? Do the people you are pulling from their celestial bore give a shit that you are controlling where their souls are going because this is what you want for all eternity? You buffoons. GOOD-BYE
Oh forgive me folks, I didn't even get into the multiple heavens, one of which is called Celestial Kingdom....I literally don't have the patience... I don't.
Furthermore, I will now include a specific will item with regards to you not being allowed to re-baptise me in after I die (something else they believe they can do for the DEAD - how utterly disrespectful!) ...and this is where I just get fed up. My mother is now having some dude from the church go to temple with her next year where she will officially change my dead grandmothers religion to Mormon, in order to save her hovering soul or some shit, and where this dude from church will change my late uncle's religion and soul, and then he will do it again for an uncle of mine that died in 1973, and even then, he will be dipped one more time to desecrate the memory of my grandfather. Gawd damnit!
There is more of course, but this is the jist of my last indoctrination, before with no other possible choice in the world, I had to become sane.
I'd just like to submit you all to some Green Day shenanigans before I go.....
♪Jesus filling out paperwork now, at the facility on East 12th Street, he's not listening to a word now, he's in his own world and he's daydreaming, well he'd rather be doin' somethin' else now, like cigarettes and coffee with the underbelly, his life's on the line with anxiety now... cuz she had enough and he had plenty... somebody get me outta here....♫ Green Day