I have labeled myself an atheist for the past two years.

Two years of denying the gods of the people around me, two years of abandoning religion. Two years of arguments and tears and explanations.

Still, I find amazing peace in being godless.

"So when you look in the sky you see nothing..."

Someone once tried defining my lack of faith as a lack of wonder. Because I don't see gods I don't see joy or goodness. I tried explaining that they were wrong, but explaining the good in the world to someone who sees sin in a newborn is a challenge that I certainly haven't mastered yet.

It seems so obvious to me.

We get one shot at this life. One chance at doing the things we love, loving the people in our lives, living the breaths that we take. I try explaining to the religious that it is only the things that happen here that matter. Gods and angels, spirits, fairies...these are things I write about in my fiction, they aren't things that I place true value in. Hugs from my son, smiles from friends, tears shed over real loss... these are real, these are beautiful. Reality doesn't need the same plot devices as fiction to make it valuable.

I'm not as angry as I was when I believed.

Faith has a way of tainting all the things I find beautiful. Sinners, hell, damnation, living in fear that we are being judged. In faith you are pressed down by this paranoia that renders so many people useless to the human condition. How can you try and move forward when your god is constantly telling you "no?" How can you love someone when you assume they are sinners, unworthy of love, you are unworthy of love, because love is perfect, love is the almighty.

Love is many things, and as an atheist the idea of love being perfect is about as true of perfection in anything. There are always flaws, little pits in the otherwise perfect spheres of beautiful things. These pits and marks and dents don't render love untrue, but reveal the nature of the human existence. Flaws are natural. I don't need a god to smooth over the pits.

When I look in the sky, I don't see "nothing," I see this amazing, grand, overwhelmingly BIG universe. I stare at it long and hard. It's there, I can see parts of it, I am part of it.

It makes me smile.

Views: 128

Comment by Strega on April 6, 2013 at 11:18pm

I really enjoyed reading that.  Thank you :)

Comment by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on April 7, 2013 at 8:26am

Hi Carol, You might like this video.

Comment by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on April 7, 2013 at 8:30am

and I suppose you know this one already but just in case...

Comment by Barry Adamson on April 7, 2013 at 9:35am

WOW!  I really liked that.  A beautiful, poetic rendering of who you are inside!  No need to be justified, no need to be argued about.  Simply and beautifully stated! Well done!

Comment by Unseen on April 7, 2013 at 9:43am

"You atheists want to take all the mystery out of the universe with your scientific approach to everything." 

No, it's you religious people who can't live without an explanation. Science may have some speculative ideas about the inception of the universe and everything in it but has no set explanation to which all scientists much agree, but you theists can't live without an explanation, hence the myth of God the Creator which I guess you think is better than living with an unanswered question.

Comment by Barry Adamson on April 7, 2013 at 9:54am

^Where'd that come from?

Comment by SteveInCO on April 7, 2013 at 11:50am

No, it's you religious people who can't live without an explanation. Science may have some speculative ideas about the inception of the universe and everything in it but has no set explanation to which all scientists much agree, but you theists can't live without an explanation, hence the myth of God the Creator which I guess you think is better than living with an unanswered question.

It's the cosmological version of the weasely Big Box Store salesman phenomenon... you know, where the guy doesn't know the answer to your question so rather than saying I don't know or handing you off to someone more knowledgeable, he just makes one up.  The first commandment of too many people is to never admit ignorance and never admit a mistake.  Religion most assuredly caters to both impulses.

Comment by Ray R. on April 7, 2013 at 12:39pm
Very nice post , Carol . Thank you .
Comment by Simon Paynton on April 7, 2013 at 4:47pm

This is brilliant.  It's worth 100 of Richard Dawkins' ill-informed diatribes.  It's a true wake-up call for the religious, and something they might actually want to listen to. 

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