Wait… You got married for THAT?!?

My now super religious sister has been dating this 100% religious jersey shore tool for the past year. Whom I personally can’t stand, even before I found out that he once told my sister that he had to think of younger, prettier women to just have sex with her… because she is to old looking.

So last night while in a meeting at work, I get this text from my sister saying, “YAY, you have a new Brother in-law”…. Floored would be a complete understatement considering I had just talked to her last Thursday and she said nothing about getting married. What followed was for me one of the stupidest text conversations I have ever had.

Me: SO I take it u got married, when?

Sister: This Saturday!

Me: Did u at least tell mom, or anyone else?

Sister: NO, I didn’t want ne gin vy!!!

Me: Are u trying to say, negativity?

Sister: DUHH

Me: ……. U do realize their all going to be pissed; u could have told them something, anything to pacify them u know.

Sister: Can you talk to them for me?

Me: No, not my mistake to fix dork! So why did u get married? Couldn’t u wait and have a wedding where u oh I dunno maybe inform people.

Sister: NO, I couldn’t wait that long.

Me: Why?

Sister: He said the guilt from having sex was too much for him.

Me: ….. UMMM, WTF are u talking about? What’s that got to do with marriage?

Sister: DUHH it goes against God having sex before u are married!!!! So he said we wouldn’t have sex anymore, till we married.

Me: Have u lost ur mind? How’s that a reason to marry? U 2 have been humping without a care all year! If ur God hasn’t shot u in the ass with a lightning bolt by now I doubt he cares.

Sister: See I knew not to tell u since you hate God so much!!!

Me: U got me there, how stupid of me to hate something I don’t even think exists… Almost as dumb as marrying someone for sex…

Seriously I just can’t even make sense of something like that. I just hate to see people waste a perfectly good life.

Views: 246

Comment by CJoe on January 30, 2012 at 11:43pm

Wow. Just wow. How awful.

I feel ya though. I mean, my brother married his now-wife partially because they felt guilty for having sex as well. He was 19 and she was 20. TOO YOUNG!!! Now they have an 18 mo old, one on the way, and living at my parents. All because God disapproves of sex before marriage... :(

Comment by Eoganacht on January 31, 2012 at 12:18am

Guilting someone into marrying is a horrible thing to do. surely love and mutual respect and understanding is a better way.

Comment by Doc Feral on March 29, 2012 at 11:46pm

I've found that guys who do the guilt thing do it for one of a couple reasons.. none of which are guilt.

1- The guy is mistrusting of the girl he's with and this is a way to be sure she's not cheating on him

2- The guy is insecure with himself, despite his prevalent machismo, and doesn't want to be alone

3- . This plays off 1-- The guy is cheating and knows his gf won't so to be sure she doesn't he pulls this guilt trip knowing she'll say yes. This way he has his girl at home and his 'pick-ups'

Just my take on things... 

Comment by SteveInCO on March 30, 2012 at 1:13am

Reading stuff like this is bad for the sheetrock in my house, as well as my forehead.

This is just headbangingly disgustingly stupid.

Score two more lives possibly ruined by religion.

I hope she wakes up in time to get it annulled.

Comment by Marc Poulin on March 30, 2012 at 8:41am

I give em a year.


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