Two Alligators were sitting around talking, and the smaller Alligator turned to the bigger one & said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it.'
'Well,' said the big Gator, 'what have you been eating?'
'Christians, same as you,' replied the small Gator.
'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'
'Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the church'
'Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?'
'Well, I crawl up under one of their cars & wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em! '
'Ah!' says the big Alligator, 'I think I see your problem... you're not getting any real nourishment.
See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Christian, there's nothing left but an asshole and a Bible.
OK, I totally stole this and it was originally about politicians. A little editing, and voila! Still works.