I closed one of my recent Internet Religious debates with the following line:

"I can be nice to people (really, I can) without fearing that the violent magic psychopath in the sky is going to lock me in the basement and set fire to me for 100,000 years for not loving him the right way...."

Too harsh?

Views: 185

Comment by James Cox on August 16, 2012 at 12:48am

Seems about right. Did you consider that there are 'real world' sympathtic sociopaths?

Comment by Boothby171 on August 16, 2012 at 11:48am

Thanks, Unc.  I wanted to capture the phrase "violent magic psychopath in the sky" for future use.  I'm still waiting for the trademark documents to come back...

Comment by Mabel on August 16, 2012 at 9:23pm

Love it! Funny!

Comment by Boothby171 on August 16, 2012 at 9:43pm

Yeah, the whole "Christ" thing never quite made sense to me.

From all the talk about the "Trinity," it would seem that Jesus was the same as God, but in a crunchy tortilla shell.  So, when he "died" ummm..actually, what actually "died"?  Not the spirit, since that was said to be eternal.  AND it came back.  AND it was just God, playing at being human.  (Sort of like what the Greek and Roman gods did, taking on the forms of humans and farm animals.  I thought that sort of nonsense was discredited LONG ago...by the Christians)

But if it WASN'T God, then what was Jesus?  Just a man?  Honestly, that's about as far as I'd be willing to go (even though there is absolutely NO proof that a guy named Jesus--or someone like him--was around back then.  You'd have thought that Herod would have kept a blog or something).  But if he was just a man, then that sort of misses the point, too.

Was he part man, part God?  Yes?  Great--what the HELL does that mean?  Did the godhead come and go?  Like gas or bloating?  Hence the "My God, why hast thou forsaken me?!"  (Sort of like Rush Limbaugh going, "Oh, my God!  I'm out of Oxycontin!").  That's a mean trick, wouldn't you say?  God possesses Jesus, and right when Jesus needs him most ("God, can you help?  I'm in a LOT of pain here!  Nails in the hands and feet, you know!")  God takes off and goes and has a nice sandwich, leaving Jesus hanging....

Comment by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on August 17, 2012 at 4:45am

You are so lucky to only get 100,000 years in Hell. I was told by a Christian I had never met before but who was good enough to call to my house that I would be going there for all eternity. All because I politely said that I did not believe them. Her friend then gave me another day on top of eternity for asking if their god would be upset by them judging me when that was part of his job description. At least they said that they would pray to their god for me. It must be great to be able to talk directly to the creator of the universe and get him to carry out your wishes. So I will probably see you there. I will be the one that looks like he would have “666” etched on his back. I will try to bring in some marshmallows but I here that customs at the gates of hades have special “pokers” to help them search ones person. I will give it a go for the hell of it.

Comment by kOrsan on August 17, 2012 at 8:52am

Yeah it would be harsh if you were talking to a 3 month old carebear.

Comment by Unseen on August 17, 2012 at 9:39am

I like to refer to God as a magical sorcerer, because he supposedly magically created everything about nothing. The believers still like to taunt us with "the universe came to being out of nothing? how?" And of course, their answer is the magical sorcerer doing his magic.

In fact, today's cosmologists don't actually believe that the universe came out of nothing.

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