“Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.”

Ambrose Bierce (American Writer, Journalist and Editor, 1842-1914)

Since I find myself home alone for another day and Reggie sent a little encouragement my way I have decided to do another post this time on my recent vacation with the family to the home of the gospel hall of fame Pigeon Forge, TN


At first I was a little pissed off when my parents decided that Pidgeon forge would be where they wanted to go but I was quick to think and made them promise me that the vacation would be more about the Great Smokey mountains national park surrounding the area. I was a boy scout in my earlier years and kept the love for the great outdoors. I made extensive plans for the family using google maps and wikipedia to find places off the beaten path. we would hit up fort southwest point then make our way to pidgeon forge. We would spend the next day at Dollywood then for the next head south into north carolina and spend a day in the Great Smokey mountains

Fort Southwest point was fun it had a ton of 18th century antiques. (one of my favourite time periods of American history) The old man there had a load of information on everything they had in the museum. they are even trying to rebuild the fort (tennesse building code has made it very expensive to rebuild it) either way I had fun learning about a fort that helped settlers make their way to the Nashville settlement. We then started to make our way toward Pigeon forge.

I knew exactly what I was getting into. Way back, when I was a christian, I had attended many retreats of the church of christ in pigeon forge. The church of christ isn't the only christian denomination that uses pigeon forge for retreat. In fact I'd say a good part of the bible belt uses it due to the sea of "christian faith building" t-shirts flooding the walkways of downtown pigeon forge and dollywood. Perhaps the giant cross found in the middle of town could prove my point even more....

This wouldn't be all bad however I knew that I could escape my family for a while and become the super antitheist. I would get a chance to vacation from being the closet atheist and go voice my opinion to the poor hapless christians whom I would probably never see again. On the first evening I spent a good amount of my time in a book clearance warehouse asking people if they new where the atheist books were located. You see half of this bookstore was dedicated to a christian section. *sigh* the shock factor and look of these peoples faces or perhaps the people who instantly looked away and just pretended I wasn't there gave me such a great sense of pleasure.

The next day in dollywood I managed to talk my parents into purchasing the q-bot deal they had that pretty much lets you pass everyone in line on the popular rides for 30 bucks. some rides required everyone to wait in line and on these I took the oportunity to be a evangelical with my atheism much to the embarrassment of my little brother who is studying to be a preacher. most of my "conversations" mainly consisted of me talking about how great it was to be an atheist and how much it sucked to be a christian..... watching the christians squirm was fun to say the least.

We got tired of the park at about 4 o'clock in the afternoon and went out to find some entertainment on the strip. thats when I noticed one of the more popular shows in pigeon forge. The Miracle Theatre


they were showing this commercial on the giant lcd screen attached to the sign...... I mean who wouldn't want to see this you got angels going at each other and jesus being crucified all in the form of a Broadway musical! Hell they even had a petting zoo in front of noah's ark! My family only took the enthusiasm with sneers and glares. Saying things like "it's probably not true to the bible" and " real christians don't mock the lord in such a way" ugh and what a perfect opportunity it would of been.....

The next day it rained, so my parents made the decision to just go home instead of visiting the smokeys. Yep the main reason I was willing to go on this vacation got cancelled. The best part was that after we got far enough away to make a turn around too "cumbersome" it cleared up and the sun came out. *sigh* I wondered if this was their plan all along but it was clear to me that my parents didn't want to do any hiking especially up and down mountains. Either way way I did pick up a map of the Appalachian trail and a map of the national park. so if I get a chance I will make my way back out there.

Hope you guys had fun reading this. It wasn't the best of vacations but I think I managed to make the most out of the situation.