Comment by Doug Reardon on July 11, 2011 at 12:09am

I was on an elevator late one night, in the distant past, with a woman who pushed the stop button, grabbed my crotch, and kissed me. She invited me to her room. I declined as I was going back to my room and my wife, but I was pleasantly taken aback, and felt complimented. I guess we all react differently in different situations.

Comment by Gordon Duffy on July 11, 2011 at 4:18am

We really do.

Comment by Sassan K. on July 11, 2011 at 4:55am

lol what a great story Doug

Comment by Dustin on July 11, 2011 at 7:39am

"Ok, I'm walking behind this girl, and she's on her own, if I slow down to keep my distance I might seem like I'm stalking her till we are in a quiet place, if I speed up to overtake it might look like I'm about to jump her."

 

It's really sad that these calculations need to be done in the first place.  The elevator story to me made me laugh at the notion of how awkward males can sometimes be when seeking a female.  It's amazing how women take it so differently ... 

 

I mean , honestly.  If the guy is going to rape you , he is going to rape you.  It doesn't matter if he asks you back for coffee or not.  It doesn't matter what your answer is.  If he is going to rape you in the elevator , then you're pretty much gonna get raped unless you fight back.  

 

Seems to me , all she had to do was politely decline recline the request, which she did.  I really don't understand what the big fuss is about and although Richard probably should have realized his comments would cause a fuss ... I actually sort of agree with him.  

 

They're just words.  The woman can feel threatened or not feel threatened just like if I walked into an elevator at night and 3 men walked in with me who were all twice my size and asked me if I wanted to join them in some late night drinks ... I could be defenseless if they wanted to rape me as well.  Or mug me.  Or beat me up for fun.  But I'm not going to say they can't say it.  It's just words , as Richard points out.  

 

 

Comment by Gordon Duffy on July 11, 2011 at 7:42am

It's just words, and the Grand Canyon is just a hole, like on a golf course. Context and scale matter.

 

Surely it isn't that hard to think first?

Comment by Dustin on July 11, 2011 at 7:43am

Oh and this whole thing about Richard being a rich , old , white European male sickens me ... as if this has anything to do with anything.  

 

Yes , I am a white male.  I have been called faggot many times.  I have been in dangerous situations many times.  I also have an alarm that goes off when a couple cars suddenly drive up to me at an atm machine at 2:00 am in the morning.  It's called life , deal with it.  I don't think women should get any special privleges just because they claim their body size is smaller and can't fight back.  Not every guy who is creepy or awkward is going to rape you.  Many times , the rapists are the more sweet and cunning of the flock.  

Comment by Dustin on July 11, 2011 at 7:47am

@Gordon - The story should be 'Don't walk into an elevator at 4:00 when a single female is already in there' ... or to females 'Don't walk into an elevator at 4:00 am when a single male is in there'

The offering of the coffee is besides the point as I mentioned above because the rapist wouldn't care what her answer would be.

But the women would say ... Oh nooooooo ... we should have the full right to walk into any elevator at any time of day with anyone and not feel threatened. That's just nonsense and I call females out on that shit all the time because they think they are special in that regard.

Because , I would avoid a dangerous situation or a threatening situation ... I wouldn't complain that I should be able to do anything I want at any time and that it doesn't have consequences ...

My question is: Why was Rebecca in the elevator to begin with if she is going to feel threatened about being 'propositioned'?

Comment by Gordon Duffy on July 11, 2011 at 7:47am

You're jumping straight to 11. It was a dick move, it was creepy. Told as an anecdote it was clearly not about rape, because the event was over. There was no ambiguity left over what might have happened. And it was still the wrong thing to do.

 

It's not expecting a special privledge to ask people not be creepy and to think about what they are doing or saying. It's social.

Comment by Dustin on July 11, 2011 at 7:53am

Many females would be threatened at the fact a man might enter the elevator to begin with.  Should we all not enter elevators then?  

 

As I am arguing , the sexual advance and the entering of the elevator are two separate issues.  She shouldn't have become MORE threatened just because he propositioned her.  

 

Sure it was creepy.  But so what?  Creepy things happen and she could have avoided it altogether if she made sure she wasn't in the elevator to begin with.  That seems fairly obvious to me.  I don't claim that people shouldn't drive up and get out of their cars at atm machines at 2:00 am in the morning while I am already getting out loads of cash.  I find it creepy that people would get out of their cars and walk up close to you while there is nobody else around.  But I keep my mouth shut because it's their right to do it.  

Comment by Gordon Duffy on July 11, 2011 at 8:00am

I think you are missing the point when you take things to extremes "Should we all not enter elevators then?" - "Why was Rebecca in the elevator to begin with if she is going to feel threatened about being 'propositioned'?" - "she could have avoided it altogether if she made sure she wasn't in the elevator to begin with."

 

It just makes no sense. This is a simple human scenario. We don't need burkahs and bodyguards if we can just have people think about their actions.

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