In my quest to find God, I turned to science. In my quest to replace God with something more substantial, I discovered the wonders of the Universe and the possibilities I thought it could offer the human race.
Upon my personal realization that the supernatural God is, in all probability, not real, I thought that it would only make sense to turn that awe-inspired emotion we call "spirituality" to something that couldn't disappoint me the same way that God (or the notion of God) has disappointed me. In all actuality I'm beginning to think what I got is worse.
For awhile I was content praising the science of the Universe, the Universe itself, astrophysics, biology, and all the new theories derived from modern astrophysics (such as string theory, branes, new dimensions, potential time travel and even teleportation..) as explanations of how we (and the Universe) got here, to where it and we can and will go.
I find it very disheartening to learn about the damning fact that the Universe is eternally expanding and that our galaxy is very quickly being left behind. One day there will be nothing left within view of our greatest telescopic capabilities other than that which is in our immediate galaxy, for all the other galaxies in our universe are traveling away from us at unprecedented speeds.
In the end our Universe will be so far expanded that we won't be able to see other galaxies at all, even with our insanely epic technology to view galaxies that seem unrealistically and unfathomably distant from us as they already are. LOL....and they are speeding away even further. The greater implications of this fact are obviously things I won't be around to see for myself. But it still leaves me feeling rather defeated.
I decided for myself that there was no spiritual God. I decided that the Universe is the only thing that deserves that kind of attention from me. And in the end it seems as though the Universe I've chosen in place of God is even leaving me.
It's funny. No one can prove that God does or doesn't exist. So those who still believe in God still have hope of something in their hearts.
Those of us, like myself, who believed in the Universe ..... Well, it appears that if the Universe is to me what God is to a Christian, then my "God" is not only proven to exist, but proven to have turned his back on me and my world altogether. LOL.
Does anyone understand my thoughts on this? One day, eons from now, the Universe will leave our galaxy enveloped in a cold, black, void..... Even if we acquire the means to travel to other galaxies, they will have far outran our capabilities to reach them.
If the Universe is any kind of "God" in it's own right, it has surely turned it's back and left us without so much as a "Goodbye" or a "Fuck off"..... for it is most definitely proven without a shadow of doubt that the "heavens" are leaving us all behind. Just a thought. Please feel free to share yours.