I just read Richard Raymond's atheist prayer.  Here's mine, verbatim.

   Dear God.  Kill me.  Please!  I have lived a full life with no (well, a few small ones, maybe) regrets.  I'm ready to terminate my existence.  I'm waiting, God.  Nothing's happening.  I'll try a little harder: please, please, pretty please, oh great God.  I know you have the power to kill me; so why don't you?  It shouldn't be too hard; after all, I'm 75 years old. You could just give me a heart attack.  God, nothing's happening; I'm still sitting here typing.  All right.  Now I'm down on my knees clasping my hands.  I pray thee, Lord, kill me NOW!  That didn't work either, so what am I doing here on my knees - feels kinda stupid.  Okay, let's try this:  nanyah, nanyah, nahhnnnyaah!  I dare you!  I double dare you.  Nothing?  Okay, now I'm starting to wonder about you.  Maybe you aren't so omnipotent after all - more like IMpotent.  You know what, God, I'll bet you don't have any supernatural powers at all if you can't do a simple thing like killing an old man.  I'm wondering if you really CAN answer my (and 7 billion other) prayers.  In fact, I've come to the conclusion that you don't exist.  So there!  

Views: 9

Comment by Albert Bakker on February 12, 2011 at 6:31pm

Since as mere mortals we can't make demands and can't read mind(s) of God(s), we can't conclude anything from any petitionary prayer. In fact the whole idea of prayer to an omniscient God is a bit absurd and pointless since such a God already knows that you will pray, when you will pray and what you will pray for/about and already knows what the response will be. Alas omniscience and free will are mutually exclusive.

Comment by Mausy5043 on February 13, 2011 at 1:42pm
Have you considered to get on the SoSmiteMe list? see http://is.gd/77Dy54
Comment by Dale Headley on February 13, 2011 at 1:55pm
Thanks, Mausy5043;  I have just notified them to let my smiting proceed forthwih.

Comment

You need to be a member of Think Atheist to add comments!

Join Think Atheist

  

Forum

Ken Hamm at it again

Started by Noel in Small Talk 4 minutes ago. 0 Replies

Deepak's challenge

Started by Davis Goodman in Small Talk. Last reply by Reg The Fronkey Farmer 12 minutes ago. 24 Replies

It happened

Started by Belle Rose in Atheist Parenting. Last reply by Davis Goodman 7 hours ago. 70 Replies

Disorders of Sex Development

Started by ɐuɐz ǝllǝıuɐp in Small Talk. Last reply by Tor Hershman 9 hours ago. 3 Replies

Living freely.

Started by Quincy Maxwell in Society. Last reply by Gallup's Mirror 12 hours ago. 21 Replies

Events

Blog Posts

Labels

Posted by Quincy Maxwell on July 20, 2014 at 9:37pm 0 Comments

Services we love

We are in love with our Amazon

Book Store!

Gadget Nerd? Check out Giz Gad!

Advertise with ThinkAtheist.com

In need a of a professional web site? Check out the good folks at Clear Space Media

© 2014   Created by Dan.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service