I just read Richard Raymond's atheist prayer.  Here's mine, verbatim.

   Dear God.  Kill me.  Please!  I have lived a full life with no (well, a few small ones, maybe) regrets.  I'm ready to terminate my existence.  I'm waiting, God.  Nothing's happening.  I'll try a little harder: please, please, pretty please, oh great God.  I know you have the power to kill me; so why don't you?  It shouldn't be too hard; after all, I'm 75 years old. You could just give me a heart attack.  God, nothing's happening; I'm still sitting here typing.  All right.  Now I'm down on my knees clasping my hands.  I pray thee, Lord, kill me NOW!  That didn't work either, so what am I doing here on my knees - feels kinda stupid.  Okay, let's try this:  nanyah, nanyah, nahhnnnyaah!  I dare you!  I double dare you.  Nothing?  Okay, now I'm starting to wonder about you.  Maybe you aren't so omnipotent after all - more like IMpotent.  You know what, God, I'll bet you don't have any supernatural powers at all if you can't do a simple thing like killing an old man.  I'm wondering if you really CAN answer my (and 7 billion other) prayers.  In fact, I've come to the conclusion that you don't exist.  So there!  

Views: 10

Comment by Albert Bakker on February 12, 2011 at 6:31pm

Since as mere mortals we can't make demands and can't read mind(s) of God(s), we can't conclude anything from any petitionary prayer. In fact the whole idea of prayer to an omniscient God is a bit absurd and pointless since such a God already knows that you will pray, when you will pray and what you will pray for/about and already knows what the response will be. Alas omniscience and free will are mutually exclusive.

Comment by Mausy5043 on February 13, 2011 at 1:42pm
Have you considered to get on the SoSmiteMe list? see http://is.gd/77Dy54
Comment by Dale Headley on February 13, 2011 at 1:55pm
Thanks, Mausy5043;  I have just notified them to let my smiting proceed forthwih.


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