Friends took me out for my bachelor party last night and inevitably it ended up on the "East Side". For St. Louisans, the East Side is associated with the large number of strip clubs on the east side of the Mississippi river in Illinois. I've heard it said that these clubs are among the best in the nation and from what little I have seen of other clubs in other cities, I believe this could definitely be true. In the better of the bunch, the women are beautiful, bare, and....religious?
I was teasing a friend as we chatted with several strippers at our table. His father is a pastor and I took drunken joy in telling the strippers this. At one point he teased me back, telling me that he was offended that I didn't have his father officiate the wedding. The wedding will be secular through and through and somehow this came to light as one stripper asked me questions. She didn't understand how one was married without a pastor or preacher or what not. I explained it briefly and she seemed fine with it while a few of my friends teased me for my godless ways.
However, the stripper in my lap became agitated. She demanded that I don't speak about religion in the club. I laughed and pointed out we were in a strip club. She repeated her demand and the cold look in her eyes spoke volumes. She was fucking serious! I asked her if there was a god, wouldn't he be able to see our depravities in action or is there a special cover on the roof that protects us from his vision? She became even more agitated and her playful demeanor, before this turn in conversation, was completely gone. I apologized and asked her if she grew up in a religious household and she only answered with an angry glare. Bingo!
Her coquettish flirtations that were the thinly disguised sales pitch for a private dance were replaced by shrill demands of my best man to pay for a private dance for me. She became curt, rude and tried shaming him into it buying her services for me. He politely told her to fuck off. She left, sarcastically telling me "good luck with...whatever!". As she walked away, my best man yelled at her "praise Jesus"! Her eyes burned with fury as she left.
The other stripper came to sit next to me and apologized for the previous stripper, speculating that she was a country bumpkin from a Catholic family or something. She then told me that she is not very religious (shock!) and we talked for a short while. Then she asked me if I wanted a private dance. These strippers are relentless! I sent her away politely.
So I met a pious stripper, it seems.