I caught a little bit of a call in radio show this afternoon where a gentleman had called in to say that he was dating a girl who wished to remain a virgin until marriage. And though he cared for her, he felt that sex was an important part of a relationship. He told his girlfriend that he respected her decision to not have sex, however he could not be chaste and would continue to see other women for sexual gratification. The fallout on the radio show was scores of women calling him an asshole because “all he wanted from her was sex.”
I had the immediate urge to call and tell the young man to run away, run quickly away. This woman’s desire to hold on to her virtue like some sort of magical shield spoke volumes to the kind of woman she was…a deluded one. I am sure I will get a lot of flak for this stance, especially from women, but bear with me and open your mind.
Female purity is a patriarchal construct that has one purpose and one purpose only, to subjugate women. We are sexual beings. As with any species, it is hardwired into our DNA to reproduce, to continue our genetic code. In order to ensure this happens, we have evolved to enjoy sexual intercourse. It is pleasurable for us, increasing our desire to copulate and therefore increasing the opportunity for reproduction.
By vilifying one half of the population for following our very nature, those who demand women remain sexually pure gain control over them. Women’s purity becomes a bargaining chip in the selling of daughters and sisters to men with money and power. These men see virginity as a virtue because that makes them the only sexual partner, increasing the likelihood that their DNA is passed and decreasing any chance that the inexperienced bride can question their virility or expertise.
As long as women continue to buy into this crap, we will continue to see the horrors of honor killings and female circumcision. I will not respect any religion that demands female purity. I can tolerate a lot of what I consider “misguided delusions” from Christians, Muslims, Jews, etc., but I refuse to hand over the control of my own body.
Women, when religious leaders demand that you remain pure, ask “WHY?” When your political leaders demand that you be virtuous, ask “WHY?” When your fathers, uncles, and brothers demand that you remain a virgin until they can marry you to a man twice your age, ask “WHY?”
Any answer that ties your sexual purity to your morality or your worth as a human being is the WRONG ANSWER.