I know that coming out as an atheist you at least have a vague idea of what you’re in for. You accept the fact that it is not going to be easy. You’re going to be hurt, let down, and extremely disappointed more often than not. This is understandable considering what you are actually taking a stance against. People become extremely unpredictable when their delusions are threatened. I knew all these things, was for the most part prepared for it. My family has not been the greatest family in existence and I knew that if some of them decided to disown me I could be fine with that. Almost welcoming the idea of it from a few of them. Unfortunately I had not taken in account the one person most important to me in the entire world… being the first one to do so.
I won’t bore you to death with details but what I’m about to talk about, I have told very few people. It isn’t so much that it is too hard for me to talk about as how people react to it. I dislike being treated “delicately” simply because my childhood was an unhappy one.
In my family it was survival of the fittest and the weakest among us were singled out and abused, one way or another. I was no exception to this. I learned very quickly the evil people can do while remaining loyal to God. Almost as much as I understood the concept of lust and what it could make men do well before I could ride a bike. I learned to pick handcuffs at 5 with a wire hanger, I dug metal pellets out of my thigh at 6, I knew the best places to hide, and I could run faster than any adult out there.
Through it all the only thing I was more concerned about than my own safety was my brother Chris’s.
Until we were around 8 we had always believed that we were twins. Since our birthdays were the same day and we were the same age. However that all changed when our older brother in an angry drunken outburst revealed the truth. He told us we were never brother and sister. That my oldest sister, Chris’s mom was killed and my mom had adopted him. It was very devastation for a couple of 8 year old's to hear. I remember spending hours consoling Chris telling him that no matter what we are always going to be brother and sister.
A few weeks ago our life long agreement to be brother and sister came to an end. Or at least for him it has. Apparently his wife, The Super Psycho Theist, read a thing I wrote regarding my views on the Satan myth and wasn’t happy with it. Go figure. I am not entirely sure how she found it but she did and now my relationship with the one person I had the deepest connection to is just gone.
What pisses me off the most about this is the tolerance and restraint I've shown them for so damned long. Ignoring their praising to God every Holiday or whenever they wanted to “give it up for Jesus”. Of course I didn’t do any giving up to anyone and usually while they were giving it up was playing Angry Birds on my cell or drawing pictures of God tornado-ing pigs or my favorite a Dinosaurs rampaging on the Ark (still have that one hanging on my wall framed). Even on FB I ignored a million God bless you’ with every single post.
Than I write about Satan once and now I’m the most disgusting human on the face of the planet…. Apparently, although unaware, I am under Satan's influence. Fortunately for me either he really sucks at making me sin or I suck at doing it. Hell it could even be a duel combo thing of us both sucking at it.