I've been reading over every ones comments, and I don't agree with all of it; I do agree that maybe I need to change the way I present things or ideas to people.  It was easier before it got so hard (duh) ...I think I'm going through a very militant phase and feel desolated from the rest of the world because I'm stuck in the South.  I took some advice and deleted people from my facebook.  Now, I'm just going to figure out a way to better articulate myself. I'm generally a pretty nice person, aside from my atheist Facebook post, ...but that's MY facebook...ugh...

anyways, just wanted to say thanks to everyone--I appreciate the feedback from like-minded/not identical people.

Views: 274

Comment by Misty: Baytheist Living! on May 7, 2013 at 5:07pm

I'm related to believers. 

I even like some of them. 

It's very hard to have a functioning relationship. 

When I notice a bit of tension forming in any relationship, I've found that taking the ball into my own court and addressing the issue upfront is usually pretty helpful. 

Starting a conversation off with, "Hey, we have a very different set of beliefs, but I really value our relationship. Let's figure out a way to interact without upsetting one another......" 

My own coping mechanism for dealing with stupid is to set clear boundaries and be consistent with them. Those boundaries are dependent upon the person and our relationship. Some folks don't get engaged. At all. Ever. If they aren't capable of rational discussion, they aren't capable of holding a conversation, so I won't fall into the drama.  I use a technique called 'blanking' for those people, and my boundary for them is physical. If they bring 'it' up, I give them a two second long blank look, then turn on heel and leave their presence. 

Gentle but firm, just like training a puppy. 

There are others where we just have an agreed upon time-out system. Anyone can change the subject at any time for any reason by just  holding up their hand. 

It depends on who you interact with and why. I mean, these tactics don't work if you're being harassed by an employer or whatever. But for interactions that you control? Control them. 

Comment by archaeopteryx on May 7, 2013 at 5:29pm

RE: ""Hey, we have a very different set of beliefs, but I really value our relationship. Let's figure out a way to interact without upsetting one another......"

What a perceptive approach! Yea, you, Misty!

Comment by Stephy on May 7, 2013 at 6:51pm

Ditto Adam. 

And from one southern girl to another, you got this. You can tell the difference between friends/acquaintances who maybe just don't understand where you're coming from yet, and those who will insist you "let GOD" whenever you express any sort of difference of opinion. I've found that if I've had to keep hiding people from my timeline and I don't see them on a regular basis anyway, it's best to just unfriend them. Ain't nobody got time fa dat.


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