I have to find brand new friends because the old ones were a disappointment. I hate having to do this. I'm an introvert, and it's not easy for me to crawl out of my shell. All I want is a small group of people to be consistently decent. It shouldn't be hard. Yet, it is.

If you ask me what happened with my old friends, I will tell you, but it is a long and possibly scandalous story.

Views: 57

Comment by Ed on February 20, 2013 at 9:53pm

What is important for you in a friendship? 

Comment by Lewal on February 20, 2013 at 10:10pm

Don't explain in great detail, but does the scandal involve little people?

Comment by futilethewinds on February 21, 2013 at 9:52am

@Ed: Loyalty, kindness, understanding.

@Lewal: No little people. But lesbians!

Comment by Lewal on February 21, 2013 at 3:09pm

Mm. Well, I'm also terribly introverted (and socially anxious), and I hate to say it but exposure's the key. It's a domino effect. You get out there, you open up to people, and that becomes your new mode of habit. It's all about habit. Change your social habits now and consistently by being relentlessly proactive and that becomes your new habit, your new home, or "safe place".

In my experience, loyalty, kindness, and understanding follows when you open up. People walk around with these walls up, defenses they've put into place as the result of past experiences. Everyone shells themselves up in these little safe places they've built of defense mechanisms, reactions that keep them distant from unpleasant feelings. Empathy and trust, pillars of friendship, lie in tearing down those walls. You say "Hey, look, I don't have my walls up. I'm not going to hurt you. You don't need yours up either." Your close circle will consist simply of those people that cling to that connection most strongly (and frequently).

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