So Help Me God! (Inspired by the Teapot Atheist).

"Please say, 'so help me god'..."

"But I am an atheist..."

"Well, we have this secular version here, 'this I affirm under the pains and penalties of perjury'-”

"Well, actually I'm an agnostic, so I MIGHT accept some vague, latent teleological deistic/open-theistic/pantheistic/panentheistic force... maybe I should do the god version after all..."

"Whichever you like sir."

"But what if I think god is emergent and so WE are the first reasoning manifestation of god, then the authority WOULD be humanity and therefore the state- or what if it turns out that there IS a god, but it is amoral- OR... what if god is positively IMmoral, like Descartes' Cartesian demon? Then it might be completely appropriate to LIE to this kind of god or to EXPECT suffering from it... in fact, maybe even as an atheist I SHOULD choose the god option... because then I am ONLY accountable to god, whom I don't even believe exists to have authority, and NOT to the state, even if I do believe it has authority, but I have not sworn to it... right?!"

"Deputy! I think we have a situation here..."

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Comment by Danny Sanchez on January 7, 2012 at 4:23pm: I love a good smart ass remark

Comment by Andrew Viceroy on January 7, 2012 at 4:46pm: I confess, I can be a troublemaker :-)

Comment by Andrew Viceroy on January 7, 2012 at 4:48pm: I did ask for the secular pledge when I was on the Grand Jury, though I should clarify that this dialogue is fictional. I thought it would make a nice bit for a movie or something.

Comment by Ed on January 10, 2012 at 9:12am: "this I affirm under the pains and penalties of perjury"

this covers everyone, all the time, anywhere, anyhow.....

Comment by Andrew Viceroy on January 10, 2012 at 4:12pm: Truetruetrue, and the recent post by the Teapot Atheist points that out: http://teapotatheism.blogspot.com/2011/12/why-secular-civic-institu...

I thought it would be fun to point out some of the problems with the god oath in a more dramatic, literary way.

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