Self-Awarenss: The only way to recover

I have come to realize that not everything about me can be changed. I had hopes that I would one day be "healed"......I will never be healed. But I will be self-aware.

I have given up the notion that my brain will heal and go back to a pre-trauma state. I suppose it could happen if I continue down my road to recovery, but I can no longer "wait" to be "healed" before I start living life again. I have lost precious years of my life. I have blocks of my life that I do not remember, but I can not reverse time to undo my many mistakes, and I cannot change what has happened to me. If I were a Christian, the many emotions that I am currently facing would be prayed away, choked down, and avoided. Christianity teaches avoidance through submission, and slavery though self- depricating and self loathing beliefs. You must believe you are a sinner. Well..........I believed it. I believed it so well that I still believe it. I have not been able to forgive myself.

Last week we learned in support group an exercise that begins the road to self forgiveness. It starts with examining ones own part in a particular scenario, and taking ownership of it, but also saying, "that may be true, but I am worthy of forgiveness." This is incredibly hard for me. I do not fully buy into the notion that I am "forgiveable." But I do believe that from this day forward, from this moment forward, I can take baby steps, a moment at a time, and through self awareness, change my future.

So, self- awareness is the answer...a day at a time, a moment at a time. Living with self-awareness is the only thing I know how to do, now that I no longer pray to a god.

Views: 51

Comment by John Gibbs on August 22, 2014 at 10:58am

Hang in there. Self-awareness actually brings about physical changes in the brain, but it takes time. Being self-aware activates otherwise unused parts of the brain and enhances the freedom to make different choices. Over time, the neural pathways change. 

Comment

You need to be a member of Think Atheist to add comments!

Join Think Atheist

Forum

Sunday Disassembly

Started by Reg The Fronkey Farmer in Society. Last reply by Simon Paynton 43 minutes ago. 2 Replies

The Shinto Flower among the Weeds of Religion

Started by Cato Rigas in Advice. Last reply by Cato Rigas 1 hour ago. 5 Replies

Genesis 3 - Quality Propaganda

Started by Aiken Drums Sister in Politics 5 hours ago. 0 Replies

In Defense of ‘Islamophobia’

Started by Brian Daurelle in Society. Last reply by Erock68la 5 hours ago. 43 Replies

Blog Posts

Life Condensed

Posted by Cato Rigas on October 19, 2014 at 8:30pm 1 Comment

Cool Vehicle Inspection!

Posted by Ed on October 18, 2014 at 9:03am 2 Comments

Services we love!

We are in love with our Amazon

Book Store!

Gadget Nerd? Check out Giz Gad!

Advertise with ThinkAtheist.com

In need a of a professional web site? Check out the good folks at Clear Space Media

© 2014   Created by umar.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service