I enjoy pondering the things I have no grasp of, I feel like I am in good company. I don't know if these thoughts will lead me to a deeper understanding of the world I live in, but I know that if I were to abandon thinking as a useless waste of time then I would become useless myself.
I find myself tired by people trying to restore my faith. Their version of reality is so truncated, so stifled, that it feels like I am debating life with a puppet wielded by a madman's hand. I cannot believe that these are their own words, because if they would allow their minds to wander they should come to the realization that religious faith is mad.
Sometimes I become so awestruck by the universe that I can only sit silently thinking about the nature and implications of infinity. Here's how it goes in my mind.
If there is infinity it creates the probability of any choice happening at some point. How could we ever observe it? I know so little of numbers. I know that if I had endless time I could count, and in counting throughout all of eternity I would never reach the end of number choices. Yet, between nothing and the concept of one there are infinite parts, small fractions of numerals broken down in infinite decimal places, yet at some point there is an end, because there is a point where the numbers are no longer between nothing and one, but one.
It's at this point where I usually call a friend who is much better at math than I am and they suggest that I round up.
Arguments for faith are that same answer. When faced with the grandeur of the universe and the frustration of how little we can explain because of our vantage point in time and space, religion tells us, "round up!"
When we are searching for answers, and concepts like a finite infinity give us headaches, it seems simple enough to round up, it may be close enough to an answer to stop the questions, but we certainly haven't learned anything new. How can so many people applaud such lazy methods?
Their explanations are like trying to understand the plot of a movie by watching a single second near the end of the film. They see a man and a woman with unexplained circumstances, motivations and development and feel that they can accurately tell you, not only what the movie was about, but what the director intended you to take away from it. Checking earlier frames, reading a synopsis by someone who has observed something different than they have...it is all hubris.
If someone expected us to enjoy movies in such a manner we'd not only tell them how stupid that sounded, but refuse to accept their method. So why does society expect us to do exactly that when it comes to the grandest tale available to us?
We are watching the story of the universe, it unfolds before us and we can choose to pay attention. It is not an easy story to follow, but it give us so much more than the alternative.