Comment by James on November 13, 2010 at 8:47pm

It is absolutely disrespectful! Personally, the religious gifts would find their way into the rubbish in short order if it were me. Depending how entrenched you relatives are, it may be futile to talk things out with them. But it's worth a shot. Ask them how they would feel if you gave their kids a copy of The God Delusion, On The Origin of Species, Religulous, or even a different religions holy book. Try to show them that what they are doing is disrespectful, and how their actions make you feel. If that doesn't help, you can point out that such gifts will be cast away, so if they want to make your kids happy and not waste money, they should get Legos, cemestry set, trains, toy cars, etc (whatever it is your kids are in to).

There is a broad range of ways they could react, but by being tactful you have the best chances of winning out.

Good luck!

Comment by Hillary Spencer on November 13, 2010 at 10:42pm

TY James ......I suggested to my Uncle how would they feel if I were to give The God Delusion or Religulous or Xmas to his kids,,,he said he don't know how he'd react. His children are at an age where they could watch it and semi-understand it. My kids however are young and impressionable. And the fact that my family has said "you have to teach them while their young" in terms of religion is total brainwashing which I have told them.
I am about at the end of my tolerance level.

Comment by Reggie on November 14, 2010 at 12:09pm

On one hand, I agree that it is disrespectful to keep piling on religious gifts onto small children when it is known the parents don't subscribe to that religion. Instead of Dawkins, buy their kids the Koran or the Book of Mormon and see how they enjoy that.

On the other hand, gifts are gifts and it is probably also bad manners to try and dictate what gifts someone gives to you or your family.

But, on the OTHER hand, you do have a duty to protect your young children from morally objectionable material and the Bible is about as morally objectionable as it gets.

Comment by Hillary Spencer on November 14, 2010 at 3:34pm

Exactly Reggie

Comment by M on November 14, 2010 at 7:37pm

Frustrating! We rarely get religious gifts, but when we do I tend to convince my girls that we will pass them onto the thrift store because our family may not go for those beliefs, but someone else just might. I think thus far it's only been books with titles like, "Letters to god from Kids" and such, so no big loss there, anyway. Religious gifts always seem to be lame, like getting socks or underwear or a toaster or something. Blah. Poor Christian kids.

On another note, it was pretty rude for people to outright tell you that your children are "suffering" from your lack of belief system. I think the other party is suffering-- from lack of manners.

Comment by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on November 14, 2010 at 8:55pm

So you don’t want your children indoctrinated from an early age? Your relations know you are not Christians and yet don’t show you the respect they demand from you because they are?

I have a friend (from Ohio) who lives in Ireland. She recently told me that her 12 year old came home from school and said “Mom – I am happy that I am an Atheist” She asked him why. “So I will not end up confused when I am grown up”.

Funny how all the kids of my atheists friends are so “sorted”. They are all doing well in school or college. None have a criminal history of any description. They can hold a normal intelligent conservation with adults. All have good manners. They respect themselves and others.

Ok they do suffer from lack of delusions of any kind and they have no faith. They don’t really have emotional rants and the older ones all ended up still loving their parents. But that is the trade off you will have to be prepared to pay if you insist in rearing them in a loving environment and educating them to think for themselves.

Comment by Hillary Spencer on November 14, 2010 at 10:01pm

M I totally agree. my kids are not suffering they are fed, clothed, loved. they are well mannered normal kids. and since I am not indoctrinating them with any religion and a family member told me about a month ago if your not going to teach them the ways of "god" I will.....................My kids are exposed to religion on a small basis (family dinners where they say grace etc) And because they are some young and impressionable I try to shield them from it as much as I can, And later we'll explain to them this is what other ppl believe and this is what mommy and daddy believe. they wants us to shove it down their faces so hopefully they wont question it. the kids from religious homes have no choice to go to church or explore other ideas when it come to religion. I was raised like that and I refuse to allow my children to live like that.If my children choose to be theists they can make that choice with little interference. But I think I may have to give the gifts to other christian or religious gifts.

Comment by Samuel H. Kenyon on November 15, 2010 at 1:24am

You have to decide if you're going to raise your children, or let others do it for you. If you have to throw out "gifts" that are not appropriate, then do it. Better to have no gifts than propaganda gifts.

Comment by Kris Potter on November 15, 2010 at 7:16am

Unfortunately these people have raised their own children in a manner all of us here detest, so getting them to see that attempting to raise yours in that way will prove futile. The more I try and reason with the religious the more I feel as if self delusion and deception is infallible and there is no approach that I know of to break it. As Reggie said, gifts are gifts and with a smile you have to suggest they spend their money on something your children would enjoy. It's no different than being that relative who always sends your kids a sweater that if worn in public would instantly inspire mockery and insults amongst their peers. Either spend your money ensuring happiness in the receiver of the gift, or save your money and spend it on yourself.

How would they have reacted if you told them you were Muslim now instead of Christian? I find it extremely typical at their stubbornness that they are slamming the phone down on you as well when they don't get their way.

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