|Don't Bring God Fruits
Genesis 4:1 to 4:25
4:1 Adam performed the sex act on Eve and she gave birth to a pair of baby boys. One boy, named Abel, grew up to be a semi-nomadic shepherd, migrating about the region with herds of sheep and goats, ever in search of good pasture. The other boy, Cain, grew up to be a stay-at-home farmer type; with fields of crops and orchards of fruit trees.
Editorial observation here; free range shepherd vs. dirt farmer, denizen vs. citizen, nomad vs. civilized; the boys eponymously (conveniently) represent the class struggle arising from the advent of agrarian-based city states. At the heart of that competition for resources lies contrasting worldviews on leadership structures such as the priesthood hierarchy, military hierarchy, and even the proposed hierarchy of heaven itself. It is from these two groups of tribes that experts say the Bible’s original paper shufflers got both those new-fangled “E” documents with the plural nature of the almighty, and the countrified conservative goat herders “J” documents that provide Yahveh’s monotheistic version of reality.
One day Cain and Able brought gifts to Yahveh. Unlike the good ol’ days of the Garden of Eden they had to work very very hard to survive, but there were some rewards for those who labored and they brought the best part of the booty to their maker. The shepherd came forward with a cute, playful, sweet little newborn lamb and when Abel cut its throat Yahveh thanked him for the wonderfully bloody experience. Then Cain the farmer showed up and brought forward a great big colorful fruit basket. "Fruits!?," Yahveh gasped, "You brought me fruits?" "Are you kidding me, FRUITS?" This was the last straw for Cain. "Fine" he retorted bitterly, "I'll keep my damned fruits." To which Yahveh replied, "What are you getting mad at me for? You're the one who screwed up!" And then he glibly added "You know Cain, you control your own destiny."
Cain and Able wandered off mumbling something or other, who knows what, and then Cain (the orchard farmer) murdered Abel (the shepherd). Similarly, civilization with its professional armies and modern land use ordinances beat out free range nomad-ism.
Suddenly Yahveh appeared on the scene. "'Wazzup Cain. Hey, where's your brother?" "I dunno" Cain lied. "Oh yes you do!" Yahveh began to wind up, "I saw the whole thing. I KNEW you would do this. Just for this, from now on I will produce even less fruit for all your farming labor and you will have to live like a worthless bum!" Cain fell to his knees and pleaded with Yahveh. "I can't take it anymore. This is just too much. No matter where I go people will kill me." "Ok," Yahveh softened, "I’ll tell you what. If anybody kills you I will kill them seven times." Then Yahveh put some sort of mark on Cain so people would know not to kill him although no one knows what it was, and then Cain moved to someplace called Nod and no one really knows where that is either.
As a youth I once had a minister explain to me that the “mark” on Cain was darkened skin, and that black people had no souls to be judged after death. No heaven or hell for them, when they die they just turn to dust, like animals. I was unclear on the whole concept of souls but I certainly recognized twisted bigotry. It's amazingly messed up but there are actually people out there who espouse such horseshit. I guess I shouldn't call it horseshit. I don’t want to disparage horses.
4:25 Meanwhile Adam did sex on Eve again and she had another boy named Seth. Seth had children with somebody, who knows, but they had children, who had children, etc. and incredibly, strangely, they all had the same names as Cain's offspring. They each lived an unbelievably long time, clear down to the time of Noah.
About that time Yahveh's sons started dating human women. The sons of the Gods had children with Earth’s women and thus there were a lot of giants running around. Yahveh looked about and suddenly he was sick and tired of the whole program. People everywhere were always thinking slutty and disgusting things, having sex with giants, or bringing him fruits and such. Even the animals were disgusting lately. "I KNEW IT" he pined, "I WILL KILL THEM ALL!"