To update: I saw my P-Doc on Monday, she switched me from xanax,,,I'd been on them for so long she felt I might respond better to a change... to kolodin (not sure of the spelling) 0.5 twice a day as …

To update:

I saw my P-Doc on Monday, she switched me from xanax,,,I'd been on them for so long she felt I might respond better to a change... to kolodin (not sure of the spelling) 0.5 twice a day as needed , left the Zoloft in the morning at 200 mg and the traxedone at night at 300.

I had an appointment yesterday at, believe it or not, Creekside Counseling in Davis Creek, West Virginia.  The creek ran under one end of the house.  There was a long porch with wicker furniture including two rockers and hanging ferns and two hefty gray male cats in the window...Jake and Elwood I found out later.  It was like going to grandma's house.  Except Grandma was an old Hippie like me so we could relate.  Don't know about religion, but I asked her up front if my atheism would be a problem.  I'll talk to her again about it.  I'm going back on Monday.  All we got done yesterday was catching her up to speed on the cast of characters, then a quick overview of my situation to date. 

Don't misunderstand me.  I'm not here for support or therapy.  I have my needs met along those lines.  I sincerely thank you for inquiring.

I'm getting away from the Out of Body Experience OBE misnomer and borrowing from

Life After Death: A History of the Afterlife in Western Religion

 Alan Segal (Author)

Great book, shows the idea of a coherent afterlife was totally new to the world beginning with the Egyptians...or Babylonians, I'm not goot on details.  He refers to what others call visions or spiritual events as Altered States of Consciousness, or ASC.  His two main classifications are Religious Attributed Altered States of ASC is triggered by a natural event...seizure, sleep disorder, almost getting killed (NDE is another phrase I want to drive a stake through and bury at the crossroads) lately that the number one cause of OBE/spatial dislocation ASCs is fainting?  Segal's point is the event happens without spiritual import at all, then the spiritual aspects of the event are attributed to the event after awakening and upon reflection...and with the interaction with the folklore of the fantasy world we live in through all our friends asking if we had an OBE when we were out on the table and who could blame us for taking some small scrap of memory that might have been something so you tell them about it like its no big deal then the next thing you know everyone wants to know the rest so the old repressed memory recovery madness sets in and all of  sudden you've got a full blown Near Death Experience being written about in all the books on the subject and it's too late to recant now. Like what I experienced with my childhood sleep paralysis.

 Then there's Religiously Inspired Altered States of Consciousness...that's where you bring on the hallucination yourself through chanting, whirling, staring at you belly button (it is true, one of the postures to bring about a visionary experience is to put your head between your legs and breath rapidly...staring at your belly button is probably the most polite of the possible choices) and, my personal favorite, eating the flowers of the field.  Most notably, the aminati sacrii...the sacred mushroom that produces a state of religious intoxication endind in collapse into a deathlike coma that lasts three days.  That's one of those 'things that make you go 'Hmmm?" 

I came out of the Charismatic Movement following the Jim Jones cyanide laced koolaide murders of 900 people who followed the God to the death.  I was living in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and attending a basement church with a huge van that had their name down the side proudly reading:  Sister Gray's Travellin' Soul Saving Mission and House of Deliverance (Jesus is the Deliverer!) and that summer my wife and two boys 3 and 18 months went all the way down the Mississippi in that van with Sister Gray's followers the only white faces in the crowd but there I am, up there singing away, can't even clap on the beat and all the little kids would point at me and laugh...
I'm here to tell everything I know about Christianity as it is practiced in the holler churches and in the storefront house's of deliverance and in the mega churches.  I'm Sixty years old and I want to get this all down even if only in a rough draft form.  Posting this to a blog on this site is ideal for my purposes. 
I've spoken on these things before, back in the Eighties when I was still Christian but had came out of the Charismatic Movement after Jim Jones and I knew that I would have drank the kool-aid and because all of the evil things I had done to others in my selfish search for a salvation I had no need of since I never was damned.  I tried to start a Christian counter-reaction to the Charismatic Movement letting people know of the dangers to their physical and mental and spiritual health inherent in these practices.  I called it Christians Against The Charismatic Heritage (CATCH) and out symbol was a christian fish with a hook through his mouth and a Psalm encricling it saying "Thos hast led captivity captive."
I put together and delivered a two day lectureship called the Spirit of Truth Seminar exposing the fakery and the crimes hidden behind Christian 'spritual practices.'
30 years ago now.  When I got involved with the Religion as Addiction model back in the 12 step years I came to realize I couldn't ask someone to leave their religion only to join another.  I developed a method that required the individual who had a problem with religion to go cold turkey for a year.  No church, no prayers, no religious music, cut off all association with old friends and go out and make no friends.  Take a year off religion.  And no atheism, either, in the early stages of decompression it only reinforces the problem.  Learn to live without God looking over your shoulder and telling you how many peas you can have with dinner (obscure movie reference, name the film, win a prize...not really, but it would suprise me if anyone did.)
After a year, if you still think religion might be something you'd like to have in your life then you read the atheist books that explain the world without referring to any supernatural agencies.  If you still want to have religion in your life then you read about religion, where it came from, if you are of the Christian superstition then you'll want to read hard core biblical criticism from people who don't have a dog in the race or a used car to sell.
One of the main problems with religion is people buy it off the rack or out of a box without knowing a damn thing about what they're buying or why.
Remember, I was still a Christian at this time.  But I worked it out in the real world, by trying to help real people.  I worked with the anti-cult groups in the Eighties until they found out I was treating Charismatic/Pentecostalism as a mind-controlling cult.  I knew it was because everything that had been done to me as a Christian was what they said the cults were doing to young people.  My first meeting with Eval/Fundie projectionism.
No Christian ever decided to become one by studying the evidence objectively and independently.  Oh, I'm sure there are those who would like to make such a claim and, poor me, all I have to go on is almost an entire lifetime being around the breed and being raised by the shepherd?  I know Christians.  I know that most of them are no different than normal people.  And I know that ones that are different from normal people are psychotic and dangerous.
 If you want to help me, get people to start listening to what I have to say.  The first was a taste of my childhood.  There's more and, believe it or not, it gets much, much darker.
I am not a secondary source spouting rhethoric and conclusions he has come to from the outside of the Beast.  I am a primary source.
I am a witness.  I am a camera.  I am the memory that must be kept. 
I am telling you this because this is what I am.
I have no other choice.
Pleae listen to me.

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