Prologue to Notes From The Autopsy of God


In the late evening of a balmy spring day God was found face down in the sky, dead to the world.

 

Attempts at resuscitation were unsuccessful.

 

The police conducted some initial investigations and then stood around self-consciously.

 

The world religions bickered. 

Muslims wanted God buried straight away. Hindus wanted him burnt. Mormons proposed cloning but no one took the idea seriously. When the Catholics suggested God be eaten the Protestants protested.

 

Some two months after the discovery of God’s lifeless body, the Vatican, unilaterally, sent a golden submarine up God’s rectum.

 

The San Marco and it’s crew of four Jesuits was never heard from again.

 

A short time later God’s remains were declared the property of the UN and a General Assembly was convened.

 

The General Assembly argued and debated for a year and a day but still couldn’t agree what to do.

Then the Grand Pathologist landed outside the UN in a hot air balloon filled with the wind of spurious arguments.

 

No one knew from whence he came or who had appointed him but the Grand Pathologist addressed the General Assembly saying that a thorough examination of God had to be carried out since without one it would be impossible to ever ascertain the cause of his demise.

 

And that was how the Autopsy of God came to be.

Views: 81

Comment by Stephen Morris on December 9, 2011 at 9:15am
#185
Comment by Stephen Morris on December 9, 2011 at 9:17am
Also, I'd hate to be the one to have to tell the guy that has this wall, that one of his crusafixes (crusifi?) is actually a gun...
Comment by Ronin Wolf on January 6, 2012 at 2:31am

Stephen, maybe that was the murder weapon :)

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