Paying by Prayer

Posted at: 2010-06-27

Original ad:

Help me! I'm in desperate need of a Blu-ray player. I don't have a lot of money so if
you want to give me one for free, that would be great. In return I will
say many prayers for you! Please e-mail me @ ***********

From Me to ***********

Hey there,

I have an old Blu-Ray player I don't use anymore. Are you interested?


From Cathy ******** to Me:

Yes I am very much interested! What brand is the player and is it free?

From Me to Cathy ********:


It is a Samsung player, and whether it is free or not depends on many prayers are we talking about here?


From Cathy ******** to Me:

I will say many prayers for you!

From Me to Cathy ********:

Yeah, I got that. Specifically, how many prayers? This Blu-Ray player
wasn't cheap. I'm thinking, 50 Our Fathers and 50 Hail Marys every day
for a year. Does that sound good?


From Cathy ******** to Me:

Mike, the quantity of prayers is not important - it is the sincerity
and power of the prayer that matters. I will be genuinely thankful and
show this through my prayers!

From Me to Cathy ********:

Sorry, but I'm not settling for anything less than 50 Our Fathers and
50 Hail Marys per day. The last guy I gave my plasma TV to gave me that
"sincere prayer" crap but I don't it worked at all. My wife's breasts
still aren't bigger and my lottery tickets still aren't winning. The
only thing that matters is the amount of prayers that you say. It is
your choice; 100 prayers a day or no blu-ray player.


From Cathy ******** to Me:

I think you are misunderstanding the purpose of prayer. Surely you
can't expect me to say that many prayers - it would take all day!

From Me to Cathy ********:

I'm willing to cut you a deal, Cathy. I'll only ask for 50 prayers a
day, but in return, you have to come say grace whenever I eat dinner.
I'll accept you saying grace for me over the phone if I happen to be
eating at a drive-thru fast food place.

I'll also throw in my copy of "Drag Me to Hell" on Blu-Ray.


From Cathy ******** to Me:

Please stop. You are being preposterous.

From Me to Cathy ********:


My apologies. I guess you are right, I am asking for a bit too much.
Here's what I'll do. I'll go by what my priest made me do the last time
I confessed to stealing a Blu-Ray player. He made me say 20 Hail Marys
and 10 Our Fathers, but I think the Our Fathers were because I
pistol-whipped a guy while I was stealing it. Since I didn't have to
pistol-whip anyone this time, I'll give it to you for only 20 Hail
Marys. How does this sound? This is practically face value in prayer.


From Cathy ******** to Me:

Oh my lord, you have lost your mind! I will get a bluray player elsewhere.

Views: 3

Comment by Jānis Ķimsis on July 6, 2010 at 5:38pm
Wow, not even for 20 Hail Marys? I don't think this guy was being sincere.
Comment by Jānis Ķimsis on July 6, 2010 at 5:39pm
Thor damn me. Obviously, it was a girl, not a guy.


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