Passing Notes & First Posts (An Anxiety Ramble)

I feel like I'm passing notes in class & I'm going to get caught any minute by a very prim, very stern, & kinda scary teacher who can't wait to throw me into detention.

Or maybe, like, a fiery pit of hell. Or whatever.

This is my first blog post and the first time I'm ever publicly outing myself as a...well, you know. (I'm working up to that word).

Oh, something you should know about me--I'm a bit gutless and VERY FREAKING NERVOUS about talking about losing my religion. I've been mentally pacing in front of this site all day before finally deciding to join.

I'm sure at least some of you can relate to constantly swallowing back the bile of years of religious dogma and programming. Still trying to push through all the garbage that fills my head and the chorus of every Sunday school teacher I've ever had ringing in my ears, singing, "You're being led astray!"

I'm still getting used to a site called "Think Atheist" NOT being the enemy. Because that's what you were.

And I guess now that's what I am. 

I have a lot to share & I'm hoping to have many meaningful, insightful conversations with people who have been where I've been, or who're going through something similar now. 

This is my first post. I'm not sure how to end it because then I'll have to publish it. Then it's like...out there. But I guess I should just push that button. I'm gonna do it. Okay.

Views: 372

Comment by Sagacious Hawk on July 2, 2013 at 5:37pm

The first time I checked out an atheist book, God is Not Great by the late and great Hitchens, from the library I went to the self check-out, held it cover side down walking out the door so no one would see it, and casually hid it in my car during the ride home. And this was about 3 months after I decided I was an atheist.

Don't worry. Once it finally settles in that you aren't going to be struck by lightning, you start feeling a lot better about your decision!

Many of us are deconverts, which means that there are a lot of us who have lost our religion for one reason or another. That's just kind of how it works in the US at this point. I hope you eventually feel comfortable enough to share your story. Whatever it is that you've been through, I can tell you that you aren't the first and unfortunately won't be the last. You've had the courage enough to take the first step, and it's the first that's the hardest.That's not to say it's down hill from here, just that if you can make it this far, you can keep going.

In the mean time, I hope you find some of our discussions worthwhile and thanks for joining us here!

Comment by Sagacious Hawk on July 3, 2013 at 1:35am

Thanks, Asciana, but I can hardly take credit for the word.

Comment by Strega on July 3, 2013 at 1:38am

Hi Kamela, welcome to TA :)

Comment by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on July 3, 2013 at 7:55am

Welcome to TA Kamela. You could consider the deconversion process as being one of self-discovery which you are doing as a “freethinker”, a word you might prefer.

You might like this video….click me

Comment by Emperor Milos on July 3, 2013 at 8:17am

Welcome, Kamela!

There are many here who have gone through what you are going through. I am (sadly?) not one of them, I have always been atheist, but from what I know, all the confusion and anxiety is perfectly natural.

If you read through the forum I believe there is a thread about people's journey to unbelief. Hopefully some of those will shed light on anything you might be struggling with.

Feel free to friend any of us if you have any questions along your new path and don't feel comfortable posting publicly on the forum.

Hopefully in time you won't be "a bit gutless and VERY FREAKING NERVOUS" and will participate in discussions and share more of your story.

Once more, welcome to Think... well, you know... that word.

Comment by Melvinotis on July 3, 2013 at 8:27am
Welcome Kamela. I guess I've been on this site a year or so. Took me months to chime in, so consider yourself braver than me. I wasn't part of an organized religion for years, but didn't get many of the thought processes behind atheism until I started reading here at TA. Keep reading, posting and welcome to the site.
Comment by Unseen on July 3, 2013 at 8:57am

Welcome to TA. If you're not used to people with strong opinions who are skilled in argumentation fighting it out, you may find TA a bit intimidating, but no harm is ever intended.

Comment by Kamela Johnston on July 3, 2013 at 10:50am

I used to passionately debate from a theist point of view...but belatedly realized it was total BS. So I welcome people with strong opinions from "the other side." I want to learn.

Comment by M on July 3, 2013 at 12:36pm

I just bought my first atheist tee shirt-- and I thought that was a big deal!  Nothing compared to what you're going through, though, from what I understand.  

I never worried about becoming an atheist myself, because I live amongst many a heathen.  My dad is atheist, many of the friends I grew up with are atheists.  In fact, when my sister became an all-out Christian, there was much more horror in our ranks than anyone declaring their non-belief.  However, it is always frightening to realize that you don't believe the same thing as the majority, especially when you are well aware that this majority could make your life rather miserable for your differences.  

You are among friends.  No matter what our individual atheism journeys have been, we all ended up in the same place.  You're going to be fine. 

Comment by Doug Reardon on July 3, 2013 at 4:43pm

Welcome to the pits of hell.


You need to be a member of Think Atheist to add comments!

Join Think Atheist

© 2020   Created by Rebel.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service