I am closer than I ever have been to disassociating with anyone supporting or endorsing Conservative Christians... and that's significant because most of my family is exactly that. I am disgusted and horrified by these anti-woman bills that are being passed, and the asinine arguments being made to strip of us of our medical privacy and bodily autonomy. I am terrified that these unethical laws will affect me someday... it makes me want to have all my "lady parts" surgically removed just so I don't ever have to be violated in these unimaginable ways. I keep hoping that Americans are not this fucking brain-dead... surely they are not going to line themselves up on the wall to be executed willingly.
I try not to think about how bad it could get; I try to keep faith (because that's all there is... blind hope) that we can't backslide so far that we would find ourselves living in a theocracy. How could all the agonizing work that's been done to bring our species out of the dark ages, past human oppression and subjugation, past discrimination... how could it all be undone so quickly and so mindlessly? How can anyone go along with it?
I see gay marriage being approved in states across the country and feel hopeful. But then I see other states giving fertilized eggs personhood rights... Texas, Iowa, and Virginia. Virginia is right next door! This just hits too close to home... literally. My own senator assured me (via mass-produced email) that birth control and preventative care would be covered for everyone, including women employed by religious institutions. It's a thin, invisible line that separates my state from Virginia, however. I've considered moving back to Texas to be near my family, but no... no, that's just not an option. I will never, ever allow myself to be treated like a second-class citizen... as inferior... as not in charge of my own life and body. Who the hell do they think they are?! I do not acknowledge their authority. I do not acknowledge their right to make laws of these kinds. They HAVE NO RIGHT.
What's worse is I know these very same men who are seeking to deny women access to birth control (even married women) are the same men who preach that it is a woman's duty to have sex with her husband whenever he wants to. I'd like to say that that's something lawmakers would leave alone, but I'm not so sure anymore... not when they're even trying to make masturbation illegal. And porn. There's a story in the Bible about a man that God killed because he "spilled his semen on the ground." So, if ya have sex, you can't even pull out... ya can't do it by yourself... ya can't turn your husband down... it's either repress the hell out of your biological urges, or fuck knowing a baby is inevitably going to be conceived to add to your stress... babies upon babies upon more babies.
Am I exaggerating? I wish I were. Oh, and let's not forget the sects (Presbyterian) that believe it's a woman's duty to endure childbirth without pain killers or epidurals. You know, because of "the curse"... nevermind that the man's curse of laboring in the field is pretty much obsolete (unless he's an immigrant). His discomfort has been reduced, as well as his accountability. It is so damn convenient to be a male in Christianity... so easy to conform to The Law. Well, it's not HIS fault he's been appointed Head of Household... he can't help it that God said he was in charge. All he can do is live up to the responsibility and make sure women are kept in their place!
I was a super-Christian in my day, but I never bought into the gender roles. I was so bitter and resentful for so long because I knew it was complete bullshit that I had to submit to someone simply because they were male. I knew I was smart. I knew I was capable. I knew I had worthwhile things to say and do in my life, and I was not going to be silenced in church or anywhere else. Perhaps that means I was not such a good Christian woman after all. In either case, this was the main point of contention between me and my religion. Needless to say, it is an even bigger point of contention now that I believe it's all a load of horse shit meant to control the masses. Now I don't just feel that I'm as good as a man, I know I am... in fact, I know all humans are default-female to begin with, and gender is almost an illusion... or at least it's not what we've been taught it is.
There isn't really any such thing as race, either... or even sexuality. I read somewhere that it has never been proven that people are "straight"... like, there's no basis of comparison when scientists are searching for a "gay" gene. It seems clear that gender and sexuality are all on a scale, and most of us fall somewhere in the middle. People have made all these classifications, but they're all superficial.
And so... the fact that one group of people has declared their superiority over the rest of us is absurd. And I hate them. I do. I am stunned that anyone could be so evil. Yes, evil. I have had a hard time wrapping my brain around the lengths they go to... and the fact that anyone is stupid enough to go along with them. And then they have the audacity to cry "persecution" when people resist them?!
Please... let this be a nightmare we all wake up from.