I've opened the intellectual Pandora's Box. It's hard to focus. By truly understanding reality I've cut myself off from it. In my thirst for knowledge I have revealed to myself my doom. I have tried to hide it from myself, it worked to a degree, but now...


I've just had a serious panic attack. I can't sleep. I've got chest pains. I haven't been eating. I've lost 10 pounds in the past few days. The past few weeks, few days especially, time has just rushed by. I want it to slow down...


I just took some Xanax about a half hour ago to calm myself, but I don't believe it is helping. My heart rate has dropped somewhat, but I can't help but keep thinking. Right now I am jealous of the religious people out there, they have beliefs to cling to, it eases their fears. But me? There's no looking back.

Views: 45

Comment by Christoffel Jacobus Bezuidenhout on June 15, 2011 at 4:14am

Maybe it will help if you try and explain to me what you find so terrifying. We all share common views here and some of us might have similar fears.


Looking forward to communicating with you.

Comment by Dr. del Toro on June 15, 2011 at 5:05am

Try to breath deeply and think calming thoughts.

You need to clarify exactly what's bothering you in order for any of us to be able to help you.

I suggest that you seek medical attention immediately if you are still experiencing the symptoms you described.


Comment by Caesar MacEntire on June 16, 2011 at 10:52pm
Fear of death. Permanent death. It will be as if I never existed. I'm scared. Time seems to be going by more and more quickly...
Comment by Dr. del Toro on June 17, 2011 at 1:00am

Remember that you were dead billions of years before you were alive.

Comment by Caesar MacEntire on June 17, 2011 at 1:27am
Yeah, I've certainly been thinking about that as well. Doesn't help.
Comment by Freek on June 17, 2011 at 2:28am

Can you explain why you are afraid of permanent death? because if you are no more, you won't suffer a bit then.

Or is it because when you die, everything you were or accomplished will be no more? Or that you still have unfinished business regarding others?

The latter I can relate to, I make an effort to not take too much load on my shoulders at any given moment so that I can focus more on finishing what I am doing. 

Also, I have been thinking of making an 'after death' note that I try to keep updated during my life which can contain some notes and most likely passwords and bank account data.

Comment by isaac.furniss on July 14, 2011 at 1:17pm
My pursuit of knowledge has left me in a similar terrifying void. I have already passed through my utter fear of death as I understand that I may pass a legacy to my own children [biological or not], or to students [as I plan to become a professor], or even to the earth itself as my body breaks down and returns to the elements in order for the cyclical nature of the world to continue.

You may not be remembered by men, but you will always be a part of the universe.
Matter can be neither destroyed nor created. It is a law of physics.


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