So, I have started listening to the Audio Quran, since I have never read it before, and I have decided to keep a running journal of the lessons I can take away from it.

So far, 2 chapters in (roughly 2 hours) this is what I have learned.

Day 1:

- Fasting wards off evil.
- The longer you fast, the more healthy you will be.
- Slay all disbelievers, until religion is for Allah.
- Don't eat pork.
- Give your money for Allah.
- Lots of reasons to be killed.
- No angry conversation on the pilgrimage, or you will be killed.
- If you don't believe in Allah, from the start, he will make sure you never believe, and you will go to hell.
- If you pretend to believe, you will go to hell.
- Don't marry idolaters, instead burn them.
- Menstruation is an illness.
- Your women are yours to fuck however and whenever you want.
- Men are a degree above women.
- Mothers must breast feed their child for 2 years.
- Warnings of thought crime.
- Convoluted divorce process.
- Allah killed a bunch of people, then resurrected them to show them how awesome he is.
- Unbelievers need to go to hell.
- Allah causes the sun to rise and set.
- Allah made a guy die 100 years, and then brought him back to life to prove a point.
- Something about palm trees and fiery whirlwinds.
- If you don't believe, beware of war from Allah and his messenger.


To be continued...

Views: 257

Tags: Quran, audio, book, books, fail, lessons, morality, reading, religion

Comment by Hope on October 5, 2012 at 2:59pm

 //- Allah killed a bunch of people, then resurrected them to show them how awesome he is.//

perhaps you meant the story in (Qur'an, 2:259)

Allah caused the person to be dead for 100 years and then resurrected him and that was because he did not believe in resurrection...

Or the one who passed by a town which had fallen into ruin? He asked, "How can Allah restore this to life when it has died?" Allah caused him to die for a hundred years and then brought him back to life. Then He asked, "How long have you been here?" He replied, "I have been here for a day or part of a day." He said, "Not so! You have been here for a hundred years. Look at your food and drink - it has not gone bad - and look at your donkey so that We can make you a sign for all mankind. Look at the bones - how We raise them up and clothe them with flesh." When it had become clear to him, he said, "Now I know that Allah has power over all things." (2:259)

Have you heard of the seven sleepers in the Qur'an? Those were sleeping for 300 years and they woke up finally the Qur'an's account of sleeping 300 or 309 years. And the original story was Syriac It's a funny and weird story..

 

Comment by Emperor Milos on October 5, 2012 at 3:28pm

No, no. That one is listed too. This was a different one. He caused a bunch of people to die, just in so he could bring them back to life, to show them how great he is. Similar to the 100 year death thing.

Haven't heard of the seven sleepers. I haven't gotten that far yet.

Comment by Morgan Matthew on October 6, 2012 at 12:25am

Keep us updated.

Comment by archaeopteryx on October 6, 2012 at 3:06am

You might want to consider going here, Milos, and let these guys know what you're doing. They generally have some very productive insight when it comes to matters of the Quran and might like to come over and offer it, if they knew:

http://www.thinkatheist.com/group/egyptianatheists?xg_source=msg_we...

Comment by M on October 6, 2012 at 7:14am

there are plenty of other funny things coming forward ... have fun

Comment by James Cox on October 6, 2012 at 8:03am

Can we get this ongoing horror story in the abridged version? PG-13

I am going to build our horse barn now, so Missy has a place to sleep! LOL

Comment by Judith van der Roos on October 6, 2012 at 8:31am
So far I from that commentary I suspect allah to be a narcissistic sociopath !

Regards
Judith vd R.
Comment by archaeopteryx on October 6, 2012 at 12:35pm

Marvel! I thought you might like to get in on this - tell Rma and the others --

Comment by Ed on October 6, 2012 at 9:27pm

Menstruation an illness? Really? How would a woman be healed of this? Hysterectomies must be extremely commonplace among Islam women.

The logic of Islam boggles my fruitcake mind.

Comment by James Cox on October 6, 2012 at 9:57pm

Sadly, if you limit yourself to atheists, it could get very lonely. To keep things interesting, I collect interesting people where possible, but they remain 'free range' due to upkeep costs. So sometimes to make my day spicy, I add a little massage therapist that sleeps under a faraday cage and believes that relaxation RT therapy can cure everything. Other days, I stop into my bank to crack jokes, or the local Habitat For Humanity(if my jokes are good I sometimes get a discount on a purchase).

Sometimes it is hard being me...;p)

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