Let me explain a few things, right off the bat:
For a long time, I've kept a "secret" journal at, of all things, a Mormon journal site. On that site, I've been pretty forthright with myself about all my private exploring of religion and lack thereof. But I think I need to get some of my ideas out in the open, and I think this blog will be an opportunity to do that. Because I'm still "in the closet," I'm sticking with my pseudonym for the time being. Obviously, A.T. Heist is not my real name. But it'll do for now. I guess, if you want to address me in comments and whatnot, you can call me "A.T." Or whatever...it's up to you.
One thing I'd like to explore just a bit in this first post, now that I've gotten all of the above out of the way, is the irony that I lost my faith after a Bible study. Well, maybe it isn't so ironic. I imagine lots of atheists who used to be religious started off by questioning that ancient book that's supposed to be the Ultimate Authority. In the past, the several times I've questioned my faith (at least 9 times in the past three years, by my reckoning), it usually comes after reading the Bible, and realizing how absurd the whole thing is. But like many people, I've spent years sort of partitioning my mind into the stuff I accept on a daily basis as fact, and the stuff that is part of my religion--stuff I'm supposed to talk about as if it's fact, or at least "spiritual truth." It's only when I'm absolutely honest with myself that I just have to admit, it's all just a bit too ridiculous, isn't it? (And by "a bit," I mean "completely.) This loving God who created everything is so vain that he wants people to worship him. And not only that, he wants them to worship him by believing in things that are completely unbelievable. And even more amazing, if we don't figure out exactly which set of ridiculous things we should believe, the result will be everlasting torment. Or if you like the slightly more liberal Christian version, everlasting separation from the God we supposedly chose to deny, a separation which will be like torment in comparison to the blissful existence we can expect if we choose to be with him forever. OMG, as we say in the online biz. WTF?
Anyway, I'll try to share more of my thoughts in future posts, and perhaps work out some idea of how I may someday be able to "come out of the closet" regarding my atheism. Thanks for reading.