My Penis Refutes Your God
According to Genesis, man was formed by God out of dust with these words, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness". This single passage is used to deny evolution. This single passage versus the fossil record. Alrighty then. If you intend to assert that I am formed in His image, and he is perfect, even as a human, can you explain why His penis is designed to compete with other men's sperm?
The penis is designed as a pump. Not like a piston in a motor, but a suction creating device designed to pull out the sperm of the sexual partners that have ejaculated in your female partner before you. The head smoothly goes into the vagina and allows the competing semen by and then is scraped out by the edge of the head. At the same time, suction is caused and another thrust commences. The larger the penis, the better the seal, the greater the suction, the more successful your sperm can be. The longer you can last without ejaculating, the more of the competitors sperm you can remove, the better chances you have of success. Compare the human penis to any other primate, proportionally or in terms of overall size, and it isn't even a competition. If you were to look at it, you might claim that someone designed it, but that would mean at least one of two things.
- If we were shaped in God's image, he likes whores, and there are other Gods that his sperm has to compete with.
- Against all claims of piety requirements, he has given us a penis that is designed to have sex with those having sex with others. Why would he want the genes of those cheating to be passed on? Shouldn't those whom are following the law be the only ones having children anyways. It's certainly multiply repeated that God grants fruit and makes women barren. So why design a penis for competition when he is the Gate Keeper?
Clearly, I would assert that the penis developed by the forces of Natural Selection. But design claims lay some serious expectation questions at the feet of God. You might claim that humans have choice in their sexual drive. How can I refute that empirically? What you can't do is deny the function of the penis. Did Adam have this type of penis before the fall? While they were alone in the Garden? Did his sperm ever feel the need to compete as it would today? If so why? If not, is it evolution that is driving the change?
Claims of God and design are silly. Often we talk about poor design, but how about this great functional design that points to purposes and uses that are contrary to any teaching of the Bible? If you are a design proponent, what say you about God's phallic? Is it like ours? Is he afraid that someone else is getting a little from his unknown bride? (Jesus! Get off ofyour step-mother!) Isn't it just more realistic to say that we used to get it on like Bonobo's and that sexual infidelity led to sperm competition and eventually penis competition and selection? It's that or God is a perve.
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Comment by Kris Feenstra on January 12, 2011 at 2:39am -
Well, I don't know if he needed to compete with other men's (plural) sperm; it was mostly just Joseph's.
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Comment by Jon Heim on January 12, 2011 at 3:01am -
but...sperm doesn't live long enough for us to worry about competing seaman. that's the only thing I dont understand.
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Comment by Jon Heim on January 12, 2011 at 3:12am
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i guess...if you're partner has sex with two people in like 48 hours..
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Comment by Kris on January 12, 2011 at 3:45am -
Yeah, competing seamen has always been a problem for me. Especially since one my of country's main resources is the fishing industry.
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Comment by Jaume on January 12, 2011 at 5:39am -
"And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them, that the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose." (Genesis 6:1-2)
If the 'sons of God' (i.e., angels and other heavenly critters) were that promiscuous, I'd expect their father to be just the same. It's obvious enough that sexual competition wasn't unheard of among the Celestial Family.
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Comment by Gaytor on January 12, 2011 at 9:40am -
@Jon Heim, The short term competition is the competition that you would face in a multiple partner community. In many primate groups you'll find multiple partners and 48 minutes wouldn't be unusual.
@doone Oh my. I'm not sure if that looks like it hurts or feels good.
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Comment by Allen Sneed on January 12, 2011 at 11:24am -
And in non-human primate communities females are only fertile when they are in estrus, which is rare compared to human females. So when a female primate goes into estrus it is a hard and fast competition between males and their sperm.
@Gaytor - I think the theist rebuttal to this would be that humans are not exact copies of God, but rough approximations of His "perfect" image. Just a guess though. That's probably what I would have said back when I was a theist anyway.
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Comment by Kirk Holden on January 12, 2011 at 2:49pm -
heh heh you said penis
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Comment by Becca on January 12, 2011 at 8:31pm -
@ Jon sperm can live in a woman's vagina for up to 5 days and perhaps a little longer.
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Comment by Zombie Atheist on January 12, 2011 at 10:59pm -
To sort of back up Becca ^ a side thing about sperm is it is also not fertile right away. For sperm to become fully able to fertilize an egg it needs to have been 'made' for a while first. Studies say sperm that has been around for 5 days are the most fertile.
I recommend readin the book 'Bonk' By Mary Roach. It's a good insite on studies that have been done on sex and fertility.
I dig this topic by the way, original way of going with it. :)
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