Hello everyone, I am a 19 year old guy living in the middle east. I was born there and raised by my middle eastern Muslim family. I was a typical middle eastern child at first, I used to believe in god because my parents told me to. But I really asked so many questions when I was young. Questions like "Where is God,why is he hiding?", "Why did God make the demon evil if he does not want evil?" or "Why did he create hell if he is kind and wants peace and love?". They actually gave me the same answer to every question which is "You will never understand the wisdom of god, do not ask questions like this!" I was never convinced by such answer because I always thought that if I were God,I would have created a peaceful world with loving people and no evil inside their hearts.

But that is not how things go in the real world. We all see how much this planet suffers from poverty, destruction, humiliation, killing, chaos, depression and suffering people. I would not accept such things if I were god,but where is he? He does not even exist. I was scared to discuss such stuff with my family members or anyone else because where I live,if someone is somehow different, then it is OK to do anything to them even when it comes to killing. So I kept hiding all my secrets, tried to be someone who is not me. I ended up suffering from major depression and anxiety. I am always worried about myself and I am always sad that I am not allowed to have my freedom when it comes to my way of thinking or other aspects of life.

People in general here are like sheep, all must have the same way of thinking in which everyone must be homophobic, everyone must disrespect non Muslims although they claim otherwise, everyone must hate other religions or ideologies. Even my family, when they doubted that I am an atheist, they started to look at me the looks of disrespect and anger, they started to keep asking me questions about how great god is or how merciful he is. Until one my dad made a huge fight with me and said I surrendered to the devil and I will burn in hell and threatening stuff like these, I was so scared so I told that I love god so much and I am a follower of Muhammad the messenger of Allah just to escape from the disasters that can happen to me if I said the opposite.

From that moment, I became sure that my parents do not love me for being their son, they only do because they think I am just like them and when they doubted that, all their love transformed in extreme hatred and darkness filled their eyes. I reached the extent that I started to self harm to remove the anger and frustration inside me, I kept crying for years in the bathroom where no one could hear me and I ended my relationship with my long distance girlfriend who I loved so much because I was too scared my family finding out that. I am writing all of this not to worsen the reputation of the Muslims or Islam. I am just stating what I saw in my life and how I was affected by living under Islam. I know how the Muslims are going to refute me, some will be foolish enough by insult me and sending me death threats, and some other wise ones will bring sentences from the Quran that says that there must be love and peace between Muslims and non Muslims. it IS true to be honest, there are sentences in the Quran that talked about love and peace. But isn't funny when the exact opposite is also written in the same book.

The Quran is always like: Allah the most merciful and forgiving but if you do not die as a Muslim, then i will never forgive you and you will burn for ever in hell......How cute of him...So is he merciful or is he a brute because I am confused now? Both? maybe, if so...then he created religion discrimination...oh wait, he also said that Christians are people full of mercy...but if they kept on being Christians they are going to suffer for the rest of eternity....AGAIN..is ALLAH trying to be open minded with other religions or is he trying to make a religion war between the people around this planet? It is so freaking confusing...Or the fact in the Quran that says that most of the people created by god are not gonna be saved from the fires of hell!....how adorable, it almost gave me goose bumps, I have a question, have you Muslims forgot about the divine plan? He said that everything is arranged according to his desires and specifications and since most of us will be burnt in hell, then i guess this means...he wants it....Merciful and forgiving, those are just few examples, there is also sexism, homophobia, violence and sadistic rules such as stoning people to death for having sex.

I have a little advice, instead of hating on the western world and slut shaming their women and sending death threats to gays, you should focus on making your home a better place, try to earn respect, try to accept different people and stop hating on different people, wake up and know the truth! 

Views: 536

Comment by Pope Beanie on February 10, 2016 at 8:42pm

Welcome, proudAtheist! Your English is great, and I hope to hear more from you. 

I see a large number of members who've joined Think Atheist groups with Egypt as a theme. See http://www.thinkatheist.com/groups/group/search?q=egypt if interested. There's clearly a shortage of activity, but anything you want to post there will be seen probably by most of them... maybe a hundred?!

Comment by Simon Paynton on February 11, 2016 at 7:18am

Well said.  We really feel your pain and agree with everything you say.  Religious people can be some of the biggest cunts on Earth.  In a way, they're worse than murderers, people traffickers and drug lords, because at least those people know they're bad and don't pretend different.  Religious people have all these justifications as to why being a total shit-pig is the greatest thing ever. 

Why don't you try and move to the UK?  Just try for political asylum.  Here, you can be a normal person and it's OK, or you can be religious if you want too, only you have to behave yourself and act decently.  You can contact me if you want and I'll do what I can to help you make friends.  Similarly - Ireland.  Everyone is lovely in Ireland.  Atheist Ireland would welcome you with open arms. 

Comment by Simon Paynton on February 11, 2016 at 7:33am

I don't think it's easy being an asylum seeker though, truth be told, and it would be tough moving to another country all on your own.  It would be best not to move to London as the services are stretched to breaking point, but there are plenty of nice places within reach of London, and London has lots of cool fun things going on. 

Comment by Simon Paynton on February 11, 2016 at 7:34am

The USA would probably be another good place to go.  As for the rest of Europe, well, they've had problems with "rapists" and sheer numbers. 

Comment by Simon Paynton on February 11, 2016 at 9:59am

If this is what it's like in some Moslem countries then it's not surprising that they're forever blowing themselves up. 

Comment by Simon Paynton on February 11, 2016 at 10:57am

All things considered, for the sake of a relatively quiet and happy life, you might find it preferable to pretend to just happily play along and act like a "good moslem".  We would presume that this would lead the people around you to shut the fuck up and get off your back, leaving you to get on with your life reasonably well.  After all, inside your own head you are free and nobody can police it.  Then, you might find you can make the most of things and settle down, and even perhaps be happy.  It would be a dreadful wrench to move to the West on your own at 19, when asylum seekers don't have a very good time, even though they have human rights and are cared for, and even in the UK.  In Eastern Europe - forget it, they'll steal your stuff and beat you up.  Maybe you could go to university, get a good job and then just emigrate under your own steam.  In the meantime, you sound like a very thoughtful, intelligent, brave and compassionate person, you'll have a lot to say one day that could benefit the situation generally.  If you move to a country where they don't machine gun you for speaking your mind. 

Comment by proudAthiest on February 11, 2016 at 5:58pm

I would like to thank everyone for their concern, especially for you Mr.Simon Paynton, I am currently an engineering student in a British university in Egypt which I entered by scholarship, I am doing my best to achieve high grades to be able to apply for immigration when I finish. Until now things are going somehow fine concerning my academic achievement and I am still looking for the right way to get out of here as soon as possible. But the problem is, at some times I explode, and when I do, I screw things up by insulting religion in front of religious people or start defending Europe and the US in front of them. That IS a problem, people start to doubt me and start asking me questions,That is way I signed up here,to be able to get everything off my chest without the fear of being killed by Extremists. I will keep posting blogs about how I am doing and how I see the people around me. I would love to meet friends so do not hesitate about talking with me!   

Comment by proudAthiest on February 11, 2016 at 6:55pm

Nice to meet you JadeBlackOlive!, Canada is one of the places I would love to live in, in the future,any place with rules,love and respect is a lovely place to start a new life in,and Canada is definitely one of those places! 

Comment by proudAthiest on February 11, 2016 at 7:17pm

Wow, this sounds great! this is what makes Civilized countries civilized in which people are living together and having love and respect for each other regardless of their color,gender,religion or general ideologies. The way countries like Canada accept difference is what making them a lovely place to live in. Unlike other countries that keep focusing on meaningless superstitions,causing chaos on the planet and killing innocent people...

Comment by proudAthiest on February 11, 2016 at 7:21pm

Sorry for my English.


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