My Idiot Friend- An Update (Plus Tarot Card Nonsense!)

If you've read my blog in the past you've probably seen my furious rants about my idiot of a best friend. You know, the one who has called me morally inferior and hell-bound?

Well after exactly a decade of being loyal to him in spite of his special brand of bullshit, we are no longer friends.

He sent an email to my husband (not me) telling me that we were no longer friends. No reasonable explanation, just some ridiculous babel over wanting what's best for me because he felt he was causing stress in my marriage.  

Ten years.

I was hurt, I cried a little, I've complained to anyone who will listen...but I think I've turned a rather angry corner. See, yesterday I felt like I had been punched in the chest, and maybe tomorrow I will forget to think about it, but today? Today I want to send him live spiders for his birthday (he's arachnophobic). I won't though, partially because mailing live animals for the sake of petty anger is expensive, but mostly because I am a moral person, and while imagining him opening a box of live orb spiders and turning ghost white while failing to manage a scream does put a smirk on my face; I would never mail that jackass something that would cause him that sort of emotional damage.

So suck it Christianity, this atheist won't act on her legitimate fucking anger.

Anyways, another short story about the stupid shit in my life.

Tarot Card Nonsense:

I was showing a good friend of mine my old tarot cards that I used to read to make spending money on the side. I've never believed that a deck of cards told the future. I just learned cold reading at a young age and I've been acting even longer.

I don't read cards for money any more. Instead I tell people that I am making things up as I go and not to be duped by the likes of old me.

A young lady saw me showing my old cards off and asked for me to do a reading for her. I told her I don't really tell the future and what I did was just a parlor trick without the cool sleight of hand.

She insisted that she knew it was for entertainment purposes only. I told her I would only proceed if she would restrain herself from saying "It's so right!" or anything close.

She did not keep her side of the deal, because as soon as I finished she was nearly in tears over the cards.

I got irritated and reminded her that all I was doing was making vague generalizations based on what the cards looked like and filled it in with stuff I actually knew about her.

She asked if she could read mine.

She did a terrible job, and kept asking me what the cards in my reading meant. I told her they meant whatever she wanted, and she said "That may be fine for you but I am more honest."

HONEST?!?

MORE HONEST?!?!

I pointed out to her that I had been nothing but honest with her.

-I told her I don't believe in scrying or any other kind of divination.
-I told her how I come up with what I say.
-I admitted before and after the reading that the only things that weren't vague were things I actually knew about her.

She was trying to read my future in pieces of paper...trying to tell me what magic paper was telling her about me...

AND SHE CLAIMED TO BE MORE HONEST?!?!?

Ugh... This is why I am an angry atheist.

Views: 369

Comment by archaeopteryx on May 25, 2012 at 8:53am

Carol - remind me not to piss you off, you just might send me a box of Michaels --

Comment by Mabel on May 25, 2012 at 6:53pm

I had something similar happen to me. The best thing to do is realize your friend has succumbed to fear and is a victim. He has cut himself off from reasoning things out and has reverted to ultimate selfishness, which in this case, is dumping a good friend in the name of gord because your evil non-believer cooties might rub off on him.

I know it sounds contradictory that someone can be a victim and selfish at the same time but all things are possible with gord.

I know how tempting it is to want to hate him for what he did, believe me, I know.

Comment by James Cox on May 25, 2012 at 11:59pm

Dear Carol:

Sounds like my life in 'hell' also. I learned all this great stuff in school, logic, mathematics, statistics, etc, but found that most people would rather count tea leaves. I find it amazing how even reasonably educated people are discounted.

I wrote a paper concerning the statistical evaluation of the Iching and determined that the three coin toss distribution would always give you supportive fortunes. The 'honesty factor' had been made subordinate to self esteame. LOL 

I really would like to have some nice, safe, supportive, ideology to curl up with at night, but my wife and puppies, and good sense, seem to be all I have.

 

Comment by archaeopteryx on May 26, 2012 at 12:26am

That's more than some of us get - my ex-wife took off with my dog. I miss that dog --

Comment by Suzanne Olson-Hyde on May 26, 2012 at 1:26am

This sort of thing sorts out who your friends really are - she wasn't a truly good friend.

@ James - you have more than most, a wife and totally devoted puppies, well, they will be - just try and be who the puppies think you are :D

Comment by stobbins on May 26, 2012 at 12:07pm

thoughts and actions mirror both

Comment by Skycomet the Fallen Angel on May 26, 2012 at 1:15pm

Heh... I'm with you sister. My best friend just turned her back on me for no reason at all after 10 years as well.

Comment by Dale Headley on May 26, 2012 at 3:03pm

I occasionally do mind reading tricks in classrooms and for friends at parties.  In the classrooms, there are always students who are convinced that I MUST be reading their minds.  But when I do the tricks in classrooms, I ALWAYS conclude by guiding students into critically and logically examining what I have done, until some of them eventually figure it out.  

I've never encountered a class where there wasn’t SOME kid who was able to figure out my tricks once given the tools of rational thought.  But here’s the kicker:  I've NEVER had a teacher figure them out; in fact, I’ve never had ANY adult figure them out.  Why? I would only be speculating; but clearly, it has something to do with the way the mind becomes calcified upon reaching adulthood.  It also makes me suspect that children, being more open-minded than adults, would be more amenable to the (rational) atheist perspective than adults.  Now if they would only let me do my magic in Sunday School.

On one of the episodes of “The Big Bang Theory,” Howard does a card trick for Sheldon, wherein he guesses which card has been selected.  Sheldon, with his genius IQ, struggles mightily to figure out how the trick is done, but fails.  At the end of the show, we (not Sheldon) find out how it was done.  Essentially, it’s the same trick I did in the classroom.  It’s an unbelievably simple trick - one that most magicians use in one form or another, because, just as do ministers, priests, etc., they can depend upon adults to stay “inside the box,” in their thinking.

Penn Jillette says that the secret to successful magic is the ability to LIE convincingly.  The same could be said, I suspect, about religion.          

Comment by James Cox on May 27, 2012 at 12:06am

Dear Folks:

The puppies seem to be mostly devoted to my wife, but I am a very close second.

Comment by Courtney Hammett on May 27, 2012 at 2:34am

I know what you mean. Sometimes, I just wanna unfriend almost every Facebook friend because they're so ignorant, telling me everything we know about the Universe and my sexuality are wrong.
I'm sorry for what happened with your friend.  

Comment

You need to be a member of Think Atheist to add comments!

Join Think Atheist

  

Events

Blog Posts

Labels

Posted by Quincy Maxwell on July 20, 2014 at 9:37pm 18 Comments

Services we love

We are in love with our Amazon

Book Store!

Gadget Nerd? Check out Giz Gad!

Advertise with ThinkAtheist.com

In need a of a professional web site? Check out the good folks at Clear Space Media

© 2014   Created by Dan.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service