This is my introduction the group. I'm surrounded by conservative Christians here in the bible belt. Perhaps I'm more surrounded than most in this area because we homeschool. It's becoming more and more suffocating. I'm in the closet in so many ways in order to be as acceptable to as many people as I can be. Why?
Two reasons, one for my business, I'm an independent contractor of a certain kind of art. Two for my kids, I want them accepted and not shunned. One of my kids is gay and in the closet as well. This has exaterbated my dissatisfaction with conservative Christians and closet living. I want my child to be able to live a safe and happy life outside the closet.
My parents raised me Seventh Day Adventist. I was very religious and earnest for a long while. I was raised preaching and singing.
In my fifth grade their ongoing interpersonal problems lead them to pretty much leave me entirely on my own. The freedom of seeing the entire world rather than being protected from it was intoxicating. I've never looked back.
I became convinced that most people are sheep. They go to church because their parents took them to church. They never have to think. They never have to make hard decisions. Okay these are broad statements and not 100% true but people here should know what I mean.
The uniqueness of people, rituals and things interest me. Thinking outside the box interests me. I don't call myself an Atheist although I don't believe in God. I'd say I'm more of a free thinker or perhaps an Agnostic. I have found some Atheist sites to be extremly angry and bitter. I don't find those sort of sites to be where I want to spend my energy.
Anyway, if God exists, he, she or it can let me know it. If not, that's fine. The vengeful angry God so many adhere too, doesn't interest me at all. Speaking of anger (you bet I have some), I've been very angry since the early death of my father who believed and trusted in God. So if God should exist I have some serious questions for him, her or it.
Most of the time I'm very happy with the is-ness of things. I don't need an afterlife to be happy. I don't need a mystical explanation for everything. Life is a wonderful, messy and at times, terrible thing. It's all we KNOW we have. I try to enjoy as much of it as I can. Another thing I got from Dad's death is to do things NOW. I won't say I live each day as if it were my last but I try to remember this could be my last and make some decisions based on that.
Personally, I believe that the energy we are must be out there somewhere when we die. I'd like to think my father is out there in some lovely kumbaya cosmic consciousness smiling at, and understanding me. I don't believe that of course. I just wish I did. So that's just a little about me. I'm glad to be here.