This morning, during my morning routine (shower, dress, walk to work, coffee), my mind kept spinning over silly wordplay. Below are the products of boredom and insufficient sleep.

There once was a very bright girl
Who thought she'd give free thought a whirl.
Now her faith slowly dies
As she sees all the lies
Of religion begin to unfurl.

I learned before my chest grew hair
Nature's beauty is without compare.
To explain it with magic
And nonsense seems tragic
When science has answers to share.

This one is kind of immature, but what the heck:

Ray says God made the world in six days,
And the seventh he took off to laze.
If I take that as sane,
Comfort's lack of a brain
Is a sign of his God's half-assed ways.

Crazy, conservative Catholics claim Christ's compassion condones convincing kids that condom condemnation consecrates copulation. Conversely, concerned contemporaries contend contraception keeps careless climaxes clean when coitus compulsions consumingly call.

Darwin didn't deliver divine dictates demanding deity dereliction (as delusional dissidents declare); Darwin did divulged discourse demonstrating descendants' differentiation and diversification (diminishing deific dogma).

Views: 402

Comment by Logicallunatic on October 18, 2012 at 11:32pm

Atheists are almost always articulate and amusingly adept at alliteration. 

Comment by kris feenstra on October 19, 2012 at 12:29am

You must have gotten straight 'A's in English.

Comment by Strega on October 19, 2012 at 4:54pm

A diligent limerick drafter,
Young Kris questioned thoughts of Hereafter
His rhythmical screeds
Covered all the worlds creeds
And now no-one can post, for their laughter

Comment by Diane on October 19, 2012 at 7:50pm

I tried to make a poem with all 'e's

Enough effluvium, if you please

The effort was painful

And left me disdainful

So I made me some pasta and cheese

Comment by Unseen on October 20, 2012 at 12:28am

I've always loved the Bob Fookie limericks. They're bawdy and if bawdy poems bother you, don't read them. Even so, I have bowdlerized them just a bit:

Bob Fookie lived in the past.
His b*lls were made out of glass.
When they rubbed together,
They played Stormy Weather,
And lightning shot out of his *ss.

Bob had a gal in Mobile
Whose p***y was made of blue steel.
She got her big thrills
From pneumatic drills
And off-centered Emery wheels.

Comment by Strega on October 20, 2012 at 12:34am

There once was a poster, Unseen
Whose limericks all were obscene
Having read 'em whilst drinking,
(Oh, what was I thinking?)
I've spluttered all over my screen

Comment by Unseen on October 20, 2012 at 9:10am

Strega was such a prude
when presented with anything nude,
Obscene, or off-color,
That she needed to holler
At the thought of anything crude.

Comment by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on October 20, 2012 at 9:48am

There was a Creationist whose only answers came from Genesis.

All his Knowledge was Revealed but never from hypothesis

It makes one so dumb if from only one book to have read and

from it believe a  second life awaits the dead.

When really our number of lives is half the number of our opposable thumbs.

Comment by Wesley on October 20, 2012 at 11:33am

A deacon by name of McGurch

once let a loud fart in church

as the candles were lit

the preacher cried "Oh Shit"!

and McGurch left the church with a lurch!


ok,, now for sacreligious..

What's white and shoots across the sky?   The coming of the lord

What's white and shoots across the sky again?  The second coming.

Comment by Dale Headley on October 20, 2012 at 3:17pm

Seriously dude!  You really came up with these gems while standing in the shower?  Can I come to your house and take a shower?


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