Having lost both parents recently, my heart is with you, skycomet.
You and your family will be in my thoughts.
Thanks for sharing this, Sky. It hits really close to home. I lost my grandfather a little over a year ago. I tell ya, there's a little shadow over my life now. It just seems wrong that he's not in the world anymore, and that everything has just gone on without him. I can't say that I'm angry at the universe, but I feel how temporary life is that much more profoundly. I hate that my grandmother is without her life-long buddy, although she is an extremely strong, practical, intelligent woman. I absolutely dread the day when she passes on. We had a scare recently. I guess she had a minor stroke. Fortunately, she's fine... no lingering side effects... just the knowledge that she's 75, and something like that taking her life or permanently crippling her isn't out of the question. It seems so unfair... for someone who's still so full of life... for someone who used to be athletic and healthy... old age is cruel.
Who's to say what is selfish? We already know we can't live forever, but of course it is deeply painful to lose someone we love. We have no concept of death in a way. It's just that suddenly someone we depended on is gone, and all we want is for them to still be around... their laugh, their jokes, their smell...
Anyway. If he understands you, tell him how you feel. My only regret is that I had no idea how close my grandfather was to death and didn't get to tell him how much I loved him, and how he has set the standard for the man I'll spend my life with. I just wish I'd had one more heartfelt conversation with him. And... I wish he'd thought I was a Christian. Maybe that sounds like a sell-out. I just know he worried so much. I wish he could've had that peace. Oh well... at least he isn't suffering now, and that worry he felt is only a projection of my memory.
:)
I guess I can relate pretty well too as my grandfather really suffered from Parkinson's the last 15 years of his life. Like yours, he was quite accomplished as a CEO and politician, one of these wise old men who seems to know everything (his knew Thor Heyderdahl). It was for the longest time just a tremor and he asked for his cup of coffee half full, but after his 3rd stroke he lost some of his motor function and became nurse dependent. After the 4th he lost the ability to speak and became bedridden.
It is a horrible disease, and it is worth celebrating every moment of life. Grandfather 1 - Parkinson's 1. :)
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